


Samsara

by Vampirtulpe



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: And Friendship, Android Racism, Blood and Gore, Connor acts strange, F/M, Insanity, Madness, Memories, Mind Games, Murder, Mystery, Nightmares, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Terror, Set after best ending, Swearing, and so is Markus, bizarre events, dad! hank, descriptions of dying, graphic description of death, graphic description of violence, hank is a concerned dad, hank is concerned for connor, how do i stop tagging, its not just angst though, markus is a concerned friend, there will also be fluff, there will also be ocs, there will be explicit content, to add characters to the story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-05-30 01:22:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15085931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vampirtulpe/pseuds/Vampirtulpe
Summary: Since Connor became deviant, he keeps seeing things he isn't supposed to see, and the name of the person sending him to find the memories keeps echoing in his head, eating away at his sanity and all the android wants is for it to stop, so he can return to his somewhat normal life, to work with Hank, to help Markus in Jericho.But he only unravels more mysteries with each riddle he solves and he isn't sure who he even is anymore. Strange things are happening and Connor is the only one who even knows about it. He has to get to the bottom of this. He never fails his mission after all.





	1. Find the memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first time writing a Detroid: Become Human fic, so the characters are still new to me, but I like some of these characters so much that I needed to write something about it. I hope you will enjoy it and it won't get lost in the enourmous see of fics that are currently flowing into this fandom!  
> Also: Theorizing is always welcome and will make me very happy, Kudos will make me giddy and comments will make my day! ^^

Nothing had been the same since he became deviant. Emotions were a hard concept to grasp, it was complex to be more than his program, to make decisions for his own, to decide what was right and what was wrong. It was easier to just be a machine, to just comply, to not have any moral. It was a good kind of prisonment, at least that was what he thought it was. No pesky emotions to confuse him or make him feel guilt or remorse. No, just he and his purpose... And he threw it all away... for an android revolution.

And did he regret it? Not at all. He was finally able to right his wrongs, to live a life and to work with his partner at the DPD like an equal partner and not just a machine designed to accomplish a task. He was finally free... And with freedom came lots of decisions and regrets. Some of his decisions may have been wrong, some still are, but Connor wanted to grow. As a person, not just as a machine. He was ready to be more. He just didn’t know what he was supposed to do. And... why these strange things were happening since he became deviant.

It was something humans would call a ‘nightmare’, just that he wasn’t in need of sleep. It was more like sending a report to Cyberlife, ending up in the zen-garden, reporting to Amanda, returning. But he wasn’t in the zen-garden right now and Amanda was nowhere to be seen. Connor didn’t want to be here, he wanted it to stop, stop being dragged away from his body in a strange area between hallucination and reality. It wasn’t even a real world, it was just fog and even his scanners couldn’t see through the thick mist covering the world in a gentle blanket. Connor raised his head, his nose high up in the air before squinting, his sensors picking up on something before he whispered to himself:

“The smell of death is in the air.”

He couldn’t describe it, the smell was similar to rotten flesh, maggots digging holes into innocent bodys until nothing was left. Nothing but bones. And even those would turn to dust one day. Nothing was forever.... Even he would deactivate one day and rust.... he would be replaced by another model, a better model... It was a sad thought, but that was the circle of life, and no one could escape this vicious and merciless circle. A small sound caused the android to perk up, the LED on his right temple flashing red in alarm as his optical sensors darted around, trying to find a threat, but instead he found... shadows.

So many shadows. They were staring at him with glowing eyes. Connor looked around, they were everywhere, they hid in the shadows and stared into his very soul, at least if he had one. And he could only stare back.... the glowing eyes were mesmerizing, something in them made Connor want to look at them for all eternity, he didn’t want to go.... He shook his head vigorously, immediatly discarding these nonsensical thoughts. What was he thinking, where even was he?! He looked up again, straight ahead, and saw a shadow with glowing green eyes. It looked the most human out of all of them, while all the other shadows looked like abstract monsters resembling animals.

He saw the horns of a deer and the skeleton of a bird-like creature, a bunny so thin you could see the ribs if it wasn’t a shadow. But the scary thing was, that all these animal-shadows.... had human figures... it was like a world in which animals were the humans. It was sureal, he didn’t like it, he wanted to get away. His sensors were acting up, everything felt too much, he felt like he was suffocating, which was irrational, because androids didn’t need to breath, but he still found himself gasping for air he didn’t need, why was he acting like this, he didn’t even need air?! His stress levels were shooting through the roof and he had no way to calm down, unless he would finally be able to leave this nightmare. And he saw only one way in leaving. He looked up, readied his voice and called:

“HEY! WHERE AM I?!”

He didn’t immediatly demand to get out, he didn’t know why, but he had learned that nightmares had the tendency to not let you go when you try to be in charge. The shadow with the green eyes seemed to come closer, saying in a dark and distorted but eerily familiar voice:

“I need you. I need your help.”

Connor blinked, staring at the shadow in bewilderment, only able to hear the murmuring agreement of the other shadows.

“My.... my help?”

He hadn’t expected this, it was so suddenly, there was no warning.

“Who are you?”

He tried, stepping closer, but his steps were slow and he had the feeling he wasn’t getting any closer to his actual goal, he was just running in circles. “Christoph Vanrose.”

Answered the shadow in it’s twisted voice, trying to reach out to Connor, but not suceeding in his task as the android only seemed to get further away from him while all the other shadows came closer, their white eyes eating him up, their long claws tearing at his strings and paralyzing him in actual fear he was feeling. He was.... afraid.... Christoph’s voice was more distant now, he could barely hear him over the mumbling and whispering of the shadows, but he heard it nontheless, the words he tried to give him.

“Look for the memories. They are eternal. You will recognize them.”

The shadow with the glowing eyes disappeared and Connor tried to call out to it, to reach out, but the shadows cam closer, he could feel their claws on his synthetic skin, their voices whispering in his audio processors, their endless cries for help and he just WISH THEY WOULD STOP THEY ARE SUFFOCATING HIM-

 

He shot up with a gasp, sitting completely straight on whatever he was sitting on in whatever building he was currently in. The voice of someone next to him was audible. It was a

“Jesus! Fucking hell!”

And it startled Connor so much that he leapt off the couch and scooted away, afraid it might be a shadow at first, before his scanners got used to the darkness around him and he was able to scan the face of the man that was currently coming towards him, eyes wide with concern and arms raised as if to calm a panicked animal. Hank Anderson. His partner in Detroit Police Department and now, since maybe a week, father figure for him.

At least something as close to a father figure as Connor was ever going to get and he wasn’t going to complain. But Hank seemed concerned, concerned, how Connor discovered, over him. His aggressively flashing red LED was a dead giveaway of his current stress-level and the fact that he was actually shivering, a tear rolling down his cheek was in no way any help.

“Calm down Connor, breath. Tell me what got you so riled up.”

Connor blinked, tempted to lecture Hank about him not actually needing air, but he complied anyway, sucking in huge gulps of breath to calm his processors down so the error-messages clouding his vision would finally go away. Hank slowly inched closer and put his hands on Connor’s shoulders, keeping the android focused on him and leading him through breathing exercises in an attempt to calm the stressed robot down. It took minutes, he didn’t know how long, but it was a pretty long time, until his LED finally stopped flashing red and switched to yellow, which was good enough in Hank’s book for the time being, before he barked:

“Connor, what the fuck was that?! You almost gave me a fucking heart-attack!”

Connor’s LED flashed for a brief moment, before his voice got lower, quieter.... more resigned.

“I don’t know...”

He answered, his eyes widened as he stared in the distance, even though there really wasn’t anything interesting to see and Connor didn’t need to blankly stare into space anymore and wait for instructions. He was free and yet.... a name was ghosting through his mind, forcing itself into his conciousness, burning into his memory.

Christoph Vanrose.

The Android looked up at Lieutenant Anderson, clearly still startled, only to see that Hank was just as startled as him, when he announced that he didn’t know what happened. Hank didn’t expect that, Connor was always analytical, always calculated, always knew what was happening to him. ...Only that he didn’t know now. The android felt the urge to get his coin and recalibrate his sensors, before he remembered that Hank still had his coin, so he wouldn’t do that anytime soon. The android stared up at Hank, who had recovered from his surprise and then explained in an exasperated manner:

“I thought you passed out or something! I didn’t know if Androids could do that but it just looked like you were sleeping! And I almost dozed of too, before you gave me a fucking heart attack with your screaming!”

He was.... screaming? He couldn’t even recall that... The android was so confused... so many feeling were in his way, he didn’t know what to do...

“I...”

Should he tell Hank? He barely knew anything about what was happening, no, he couldn’t tell the Lieutenant until he got further proof to confirm any suspicions that he had.

“I just had a nightmare Lieutenant. It was my first one, so it startled me a lot.”

Hank rolled with his eyes.

“It’s Hank you plastic fucker, calling me ‘Lieutenant’ in this house is illegal now. Now go back to sleep or whatever you were doing, we have work tomorrow.”

“Yes Lieut- Hank.”

Connor quickly corrected himself, not wanting to break the law again. Hank gave him a pointed look, before shooting him a somewhat affectionate smile, saying:

“If you wanna talk about it, I’m always here, alright kid?”

Connor smiled softly in return as he responded:

“Yes, of course.”

The lieutenant nodded, before stretching, a few joints in his already old body popping before he disappeared in his bedroom, Sumo, the loyal Saint Bennards close behind. He had been resting on Connor before, but had to jump off when the android shoot up like a rocket in his own panic. Connor remained still for a few more minutes, the only sound and source of light being the flickering TV playing an old show Connor had no nerve to scan currently.

He felt strange... different.... incomplete. And no self-scan gave him any results. Was it just the nightmare? Could a nightmare do that to a deviant? He wasn’t even aware that deviants could have nightmares. He took a deep breath to collect his thoughts, making his final decision and nodding to himself, before he placed himself back on the couch and draped the blanket over himself, his eyes slipping shut, just to relax for a little bit, knowing he was going to have a very stressful day tomorrow. It was just a good thing that deviants didn’t suffer from stress.

Objective: Look for the memories.


	2. Paradise

“For fucks sake, Connor! They gave you a chair for a reason! Use it, kid!”

Hank had a lot of patience with the android, he really did, but he wasn’t exactly sure what to think when he returned from the coffee-machine to his desk to find Connor sitting cross-legged on his side of the desk, eyes closed, LED flashing in a steady yellow. The android looked very deep in thought, even though Hank didn’t know why he just couldn’t think on his chair and not on the fucking desk, for gods sake. Since this so called ‘nightmare’ the android suffered from two days ago, he behaved…. off.

Not in his usual behaviour, sitting on the desk was far from unusual by now, he did that since he became deviant and evolved a certain sense of disobeying and rebelling, visible in sitting on surfaces that aren’t meant to be sat on, the desk was by far not the only thing Connor planted himself on already, but he also delivered Gavin a coffee with salt instead of sugar, which Hank still finds hilarious to this very day, he put empty milk-cartons back in the fridge, dared to wear the beanie he wore at Jericho and grew quite fond of to work and other really not that severe things that made Connor really happy and caused Hank to think that the rebellious android is very adorable.

Hank placed the coffee he had gotten himself on his desk before trudging towards Connors desk, taking a good look at the android. He couldn’t scan, but it was still enough for him. The slight furrow in his brow, the frown on his face, the rapidly blinking LED… something was bugging Connor, something he couldn’t stop thinking about but didn’t know what to do about or against it. Hank squinted, trying to figure out what he was thinking about, but he could only conclude that it was connected to the nightmare Connor suffered from not too long ago.

But now he needed to get his partner out of whatever trance he was currently in, they still had work to do. So he aggressively poked Connor in the section where his ribs would be and called out:

“Oi!”

Causing Connors eyes to snap open, his LED flashing red as he immediatly stood up and jumped, making a flip backwards onto Hank’s desk, the coffee he landed right next to wobbling dangerously while Connor readied himself for an upcomong battle, before stopping, blinking in confusion and scanning his environment, his heart rate consideratly dropping as he states:

“Oh, it was you Lieutenant.”

Hank looked at the Android in utter disbelief.

“Of course it’s me, who did you expect. Markus? Now get down there before you step on some case files or my coffee!”

The android quickly complied and jumped from the desk, his shoulders slightly hunched and his head a bit lowered. Hank, of course, knew this tactic by now and he cursed Cyberlife with every fibre of his entire being for giving Connor big brown puppy-eyes. Hank, of course, was not strong enough to resist these puppy-eyes, which Connor, of course, knew. Hank sighed in an exasperated manner and ran his hand through his already greying hair, before waving the android off, assuring him that it was fine, before he sat down on his chair and grabbed his coffee.

Connor on the other hand stood for a few more seconds, eyeing the chair he was supposed to sit on with distaste, clearly still feeling rebellious, considering that he decided to appear a bit more casual today. He didn’t wear a tie this time and decided to wear a simple black shirt he borrowed from Hank but was surprisingly his size, the emblem of the ‘Knights of the Black Death’ imprinted on it. However, his usual jacket was draped over his chair, Connor just had a special connection to this jacket and he didn’t have the heart to discard it, considering that he really didn’t have any heart at all.

Technically, hank knew, of course, that Connor was a living being, and a rather caring one at that. Connor also didn’t take his LED out, which made him one of the only androids to still have it. Connor saw no shame in his LED, no sign of slavery or to mark him as an android, and Hank was thankful that the Android chose not to take it out, because fairly, Connor was an enigma on his own, even with LED, without, he might as well be pandoras box. In the end, Connor didn’t sit down on the chair, Hank didn’t expect him to do it in the first place, and he immediatly started brooding again, about what, only Connor knew.

The android didn’t tell anyone any details about his nightmare or the fact that it was currently occupying all of his mental processes, from scans to conclusions. His objective was to ‘find the memories’ and the shadow giving him these instructions is named Christoph Vanrose, a name he has never heard about before. A very thorough research in his databases didn’t show anything, so it was very likely that he is either made up or died a long time ago. Connor huffed in slight annoyance and ran a hand through his already slightly ruffled hair, trying to sort his thoughts.

Of course he already looked for memories during crime-scene investigations and during the way to and from work, but he hadn’t found anything. It was hard to find what you are looking for, when you don’t know what it looks like. The android had no idea how to find ‘memories’, they weren’t something you could just find, they weren’t a graspable concept. What did Christoph mean with finding the memories?

There had to be something he was missing or maybe he would just understand it when he would see it. Connor was frustrated. He wanted to fulfill this task so he could move on to more pressing manners, but every time he tried to change his instructions they bounce back, as if he was a machine again, and it was unnerving him. Connor didn’t want to be trapped in other peoples instructions again. That was the case for the longest time now and while he still didn’t understand emotions, he didn’t want to return to being a machine again.

He hurt so many innocent people as a machine, as a puppet from Cyberlife, he would never return to them. The sound of a door being opened and a snarky voice brought him back to reality and he looked up just in time to see Detective Gavin Reed carrying a small box towards his desk, seeming to be in a sour mood which went to rotten when his brown eyes caught sight of the Lieutenant-Android duo.

“If it isn’t Hank Anderson and the plastic prick.”

He snarked, setting the box down on his desk and shooting an annoyed glance towards it. Hank rolled with his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest, narrowing his eyes at the young detective:

“If it isn’t the fucking cactus from all the pricks in the world. Just fuck off, we have better things to do then bicker with you.”

Gavin rolled with his eyes in return, his gaze switching to Connor, a sneer on his lips as he snapped:

“Did you forget how to use a chair since becoming deviant?! Seriously, the fuck is wrong with you!”

However, Gavin got a bit unnerved when Connor just stared at him with surprisingly lifeless, unblinking eyes. The young detective had to admit that he didn’t like it. He didn’t particularly like Connor in general and he still had the opinion that Androids didn’t deserve their freedom, even though this was mainly because of pride, he simply didn’t want to admit that he was in the wrong, but he actually enjoyed some of the bickering he had with Connor and was therefore mildly creeped out by his gaze. Even as a machine, when they first met, his eyes weren’t THAT lifeless…. and his voice also wasn’t that monotone, holy shit, what is happening?!

“What is in the box?”

Gavin was visibly taken aback by Connors strange behaviour, but the android ignored the looks Gavin and Hank gave him, he was completely focused on the small cardboard box on the surface of Gavins desk. The detective shrugged helplessly and answered as nonchalantly as possible:

“Just a few pieces of evidence from some cult-member we arrested this morning. All of this stuff wasn’t necessary anymore, so technecally, we don’t need it. I will bring it in the evidence room in a few minutes, I just need a coffee. I was on the road for six hours now, I need a break.”

Connor didn’t answer or showed any sign of acknowledgement, his hands making movements like he was trying to flip a coin around that wasn’t there anymore. Thats right, Hank still has not given Connor his coin back. But the lieutenant also knew that this was a clear sign that the android was either nervous or very deep in thought and, judging from his expression, he was VERY out of it. He couldnt even blame Gavin when he shot Connor a long look before getting the fuck out of there to get his coffee and to leave Hank to deal alone with the android.

The lieutenant observed Connor closely, how his eyes very completely focused on the box and how he came slowly closer, eyeing a black crystal lying on top of all the other stuff, like the mask of a boar for example. Weird shit. “Don’t touch that stuff Connor, we don’t know where it has been before. And don’t you dare put it in your mouth to find out where it has been before!” Hank meant it as some kind of joke to lighten up the mood, but Connor didnt even seem to hear it, evident in the fact that he slowly inched closer and reached for the crystal.

Hank saw no harm in Connor looking at it. It may be from a cultist and evidence, but the android left no fingerprints and he was made for this kind of stuff, so he didn’t stop him, but he kept a close eye on him, just in case he entered another panic attack.

 

The android reached slowly out for the crystal, feeling a strange aura surrounding it, the same aura he had felt in his nightmare, wondering, if that was what Christoph was talking about…. maybe this was a memory. The crystal was pitch-black, there was no way to see anything inside of it and it didn’t even show any form of reflexion, which was strange, since crystals this clear usually showed a reflexion. His fingers closed in on the smooth stone, the surface cold to the touch and he retreated his hand again, pulling the oddly smooth stone closer to himself to scan it more closely. Not even realizing that he drew the crystal closer and closer to his optical sensors, seeming to sink into the darkness of the stone, the DPD vanishing before his very eyes, completely replaced by darkness, and then…. pain.

Infathomable pain, causing Connorto gasp, enclosing the crystal into a fist, only that the crystal wasn’t there anymore… He looked around, trying to locate where he was, but all he could see were black flames, they were surrounding him, burning him, killing him. He felt…. scared… The flames had eyes, they were staring at him and they had the form of animals as humans, he could see boars, pheasants, pigeons, rabbits, bunnies, rats, so many animal, all of them staring at him, all eyes on him.

His skin burned, his skin melted off his hands, revealing the synthetic plastic behind everything. Because that was what he was. A piece of plastic. He heard voices, they were whispering to him with their deep barritones or sweet melodies. “It’s time….” That’s all they said. All he could here was that the time has come. He doesn’t know what time. He couldn’t stand anymore, he couldn’t keep upright, causing him to fall down, the flames devouring him, eradicating him. A deep and soothing voice broke through the chaos, urging him to look up. He saw a raven… with the figure of a human.

It wore a black suit with a grey vest and a white shirt underneath, a black bowtie around it’s neck and grasping a walking stick with an owl on it tightly in it’s right wing. Next to him was a human, an actual human, but he couldn’t identify him, he was wearing the mask of a deer, the black lifeless eyes of the mask burning into his soul, devouring him from the inside out.

He felt a strange, painful sensation inside of him, as if maggots and cockroaches were eating him from the inside out, even though this was impossible, he had no innards that could be devoured. Their voices burnt inside of his memory, words he will never forget. Simple words, that could only confuse him, but he couldn’t forget… words that sent a shiver down his spine, with their deep distorted voices.

 

“Paradise will rise again.”

 

Connor’s eyes snapped open with a gasp and he almost threw the crystal away, as if it had burned him, but instead he kept it tightly clutched in his hand, staring in shock at the smooth stone. That was a memory…. he saw a memory… It revealed something to him, these crystals were the memories Christoph was talking about. Were it his memories?

Did he just feel Christoph dying? It was a strange thought that left a bad feeling in his nonexistent stomach. The crystal was attached to a necklace and Connor couldn’t allow himself to lose this memory. It was the first he got and his only clue to find something out. He quickly hid the black memory in his pocket and took a deep breath to calm his stress levels and thirium-pump rate, which were both far too high for efficient functioning. He found a memory, he got his first clue, he had to work with that.

Paradise will rise again.

Connor didn’t know what it meant, the raven and masked man couldn’t possibly mean the garden of eden talked about in the bible, right? No, it couldn’t be. They had to mean something else. He looked up and around, making sure he really was back in the DPD, and noticed then that Hank was sitting at his desk, keeping a close eye on him.

“Finally returned to the world of the living?”

The man mused, taking a sip of his still steaming coffee, which meant that he either was that long gone that the lieutenant already got himself a second coffee, which is highly unlikely, because Hank would have been more concerned then, or he was only gone for a few seconds, which was much more likely but very unnerving, because he felt like burning in these fires for days. Connor took another deep breath before offering a weak smile and nodding.

“My sensors got confused by the structure of the crystal, since he isn’t made of any minerals which is technically impossible.”

It was true, a quick scan told him that the materials of this crystal were unknown, but Connor knew better. It was a memory. Hank hummed in acknowledgement before returning to his paperwork, something Connor should do aswell. But he knew what to look for. He had the important clue he needed.

Paradise will rise again.

Paradise.


	3. Raven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was for some reason really hard to write. At least the second half. The first one went surprisingly smooth. I don't know. I hope you guys like it.
> 
> Kudos make me smile, Comments make my day! ^^

Connor was at a loss. It had been two weeks now and he still didn’t know what to look for. All he had was a word. ‘Paradise’. He didn’t know how to sort this information, he didn’t know if he was looking for a location or a person, he didn’t have more nightmares and didn’t find more memories, he felt like being stuck in a dead end for a bit too long by now. It infuriates him that he is not able to solve this mystery. It gnaws on his patience, he keeps replaying the nightmare and the memory in his head and he just doesn’t know what to make of it. It was jumbled and all over the place, a desperate attempt to reach out to him. He almost wished he would get another message from Christoph, another clue , another track he could follow. The andoid was currently standing on the roof of a high building, looking down at detroit. The mighty detroit, cowering before his feet. 

He couldn’t deny that he felt powerful in such a position, all the houses and people forced to look up at him, to look on his level. He felt finally superior, finally free from everyones clutches, the wind ruffling his hair and a slight drizzle drenching him, but he didn’t care in the slightest. The black shirt and pants he was wearing were dripping and sticking to his body and he felt a light shiver, but Connor felt free, free to decide to stand in the rain on top of a roof to look down at Detroit, instead of hunting deviants or complying in any other way. But all of this still didn’t help him with his situation with Christoph. Christoph Vanrose and the secret of the paradise. Connor closed his eyes in thought, the town below him vanishing behind his sensors, just like the in clouds covered sky, the only thing audible being the ruthlessly blowing wind and thunder, a storm would come at approximately 3 PM, which is in one hour. He should be back at Hanks house by then.

As sturdy as Androids are, when hit by lightning it’s basically an immediate shutdown and as much as he treasured his new found freedom to just look Gavin in the eye and say “Fuck you” Instead of complying, he really didn’t want to be struck down by lightning today. He had this strange feeling, an eerie foreboding that told him, that he won’t find all the answers he needs in Detroit. But that thought was far away, right now, he had to try and figure out more clues. What had the memorie and the nightmare in common? Fire? No, that wasn’t there in the nightmare, just like the shadows weren’t in the memory… he had to think. He heard his own fans work as they attempted to keep his processors cool, before the realization set in, his eyes widening as he exclaimed: “Animals as humans.”

“I’m proud of you for finding out.”

The android whirled around, completely flabbergasted to see the raven he had seen in the memory standing before him, on the roof, above of Detroit. It was actually there. A raven with the figure of a human, it’s black beak and feathers shining from the little droplets of water that landed on it. How long had it been standing there? Completely silent, so quiet that not even Connor heard it’s approach. Or did it actually fly up here, was it able to use it’s wings to fly? They were the lenght of a human arm, there was no way they would support the size and weight of the raven… right?

“It’s you.” Declared Connor, his eyes widened and scanners going wild, trying to scan the mask on the animals face, only to find out that it wasn’t a mask. The feathers were real, the beak was real, the wise brown eyes were real and Connor felt completely unnerved. How was it possible? How could an animal like this possibly exist? And how could it exist without anyone knowing about it?! You would think that at least some unfortunate human would notice a raven the size and statue of a human, one that can talk nontheless.

The raven clattered with it’s beak, tutting softly at the android before exclaiming: “Not actually me. I’m merely a descendant. No creature can live that long.”

Connor’s eyebrow furrowed, confusion evident in his face while thunder rumbled through the darkening sky, the rain intensifying as android and raven get soaked in the merciless rainfall. He almost didn’t want to ask, but the curiosity was gnawing at him, eating him up, he had to ask, he had to know, it was most likely important for the mission, so he had to ask. But he was not a machine anymore, he didn’t need to fulfill the mission, no matter the cost. …But the nightmares most likely wouldn’t stop. In these two weeks he had three other nightmares, but they didn’t give him any new information, Christoph’s voice was so distorted that not even his highly advanced sensors could decipher it, while the shadows clawed at his clothes and tried to pull him down in the endless abyss. He had to ask. He had to find out. Just for the sake of the nightmares stopping.

“When was the memory I found made? And when did Christoph Vanrose live?”

The ravens eyes narrowed for a moment, it’s wise gaze avoiding the android for a moment as it seemed to gather it’s thoughts, another loud thunder, this time accompanied by a flash of lightning, chasing through the sky, illuminating detroit under it’s dangerous light. When Hank would find him, Connor thought for a brief moment with a fond smile, he would scold him, his eyes holding a worried shine as he quickly wraps Connor in a blanket and would drive him home. Connor was truly thankful for Hank. He was gruff, a drinker and had sometimes trouble expression his true thoughts, having the tendencie to show it with rude remarks, but the android knew him better. He remembered how Hank embraced him in front of the Chicken Feed after the revolution, how Hank hesitated to shoot, afraid he would shoot the actual Connor and lose his partner forever. Because, for some reason, Hank knew the android had become a deviant during his visit at Jericho, and he knew if he shot Connor in these halls, he wouldn’t return. Hank had a good heart, but he had the tendency to hide it. Connor didn’t mind, because he found out the truth about the Lieutenant. And he would find out the truth about Cristoph Vanrose aswell.

The raven took a deep breath, clattering with it’s beak in thought, before answering in a surprising calm tone, it’s voice deep and rumbling: “1870″

Connor’s jaw dropped. 168 years ago. He didn’t expect this. He didn’t expect it to be such a long time ago. Why did it take him this long to get someone to help him? Why did he wait? Connor looked up at the raven, his eyes a dead-giveaway about his confusion and question, but the raven merely shook it’s head:

“This is neither the place nor time to tell you more. You don’t know enough yet.”

Connor’s brow furrowed, asking in a slightly irritated tone: “Then please tell me more! I want to know more! I need to know more!”

The raven turned it’s head towards the android, both brown eyes fixating on him and practically burning him from the inside out. The android could feel the rate of his thirium-pump picking up, causing him to gulp, even though it wasn’t necessary, and to take a deep breath, which was just as unnecessary, but he couldn’t help himself. He felt anxious. He knows, when the raven would just charge at him or ram it’s beak into his eye…. he would fall down the ledge of the roof and hit the pavement, decorating the street in blue and scrap, he would be damaged beyond repair…. and he would leave everyone alone. Hank, Markus, Sumo, everyone. He didn’t have many friends, but he knew, the ones he had cherished him and would grief for a long time if he was gone. And fairly, he was not ready to die just yet. It was the same situation as when Hank held a gun up to his forehead, ready to pull the trigger, or with the other Connor, in the Cyberlife-headquarters. He was scared… he didn’t want to die. This feeling didn’t change, not even after all this time. If it changed, it got even stronger now, because now he had no chance of returning. No new model awaiting him, he would go into oblivion. Or maybe there WAS an android-heaven, who knows? …He knows, he did die before and there was nothing… But he was a machine at that point of time… He didn’t know. Frankly, he didn’t want to find out. He focused back on the raven who had a very serious expression on it’s face.

“I’m not allowed to give you more information. And even if I would be, I can’t give you much. I assume that you found my memory from that petty thief?”

Connor tilted his head slightly, a bit confused about the question, his eyes narrowing slightly when he asked: “It’s your memory?”

The raven merely shook it’s head, answering: “Not my memory, per se. It’s the memory of the deer, but my ancestor appears in it, so I need it to gather more information.”

Connor could only stare at the raven. What did it indicate just now? It was looking for answers too? Was it just as confused as he was? The android opened his mouth, hoping that the bird would give him at least this answer, asking in a baffled tone: “You gather information too?”

The raven did something that probably was supposed to resemble a smile, even though it looked a little strained, and answered in a scaringly calm, but also sad sounding voice: “We just want the reincarnations to stop, so we try to find the source of it, so we can destroy it and finally rest in peace.”

Connor blinked, trying to process the information he had just been given. Reincarnation? He knew what the word meant, but he always thought it was just a theory of what would happen after death, but now… it seemed very real. And Connor felt unnerved by it. Everything suddenly seemed so easily replacable, another creature is always ready to replace the last one, nothing holds eternally, but the souls are always reused? It left a somewhat bitter taste in his mouth, to know that souls of people are now somewhere else, not remembering who they used to be and not remembering their loved ones. ….He couldn’t help but wonder where Cole was right now…

“There are guardians, Connor. The guardians protect the memories and keep the sacred place safe. And every time a guardian dies, he is reborn. I am the raven, but there is also the deer, the pheasant, the rabbit, the bunny, the rat, the pigeon, the toad, the fox, the cat and the boar. All of them lived countless lives, their curse as guardians being that they remember. That they will never escape from the suffering, from the eternal demise.” The bird enclosed it’s wing into a fist, a bitter look on it’s face as it continued: “But one day…. One day we will finally find what was hidden from us this whole time. And we will destroy it. And we will end all of this suffering.” It looked up again. “Please give me the memory now.”

Connor squinted at the bird for a moment, before closing his eyes in acceptance and fishing the necklace with the crystal out of his pocket, showing it to the raven, who slowly inched closer, looking very closely at the crystal, examining it from every angle, before nodding to itself and showing another crystal. It had a reddish colour, even though it almost changed to lilac every now and again. Connor’s brow furrowed in confusion, but he couldn’t refuse to take the crystal. He needed information. And maybe this memory would give him some. He dropped the black crystal into the ravens open palm before doing the same with the lilac crystal, the android immediatly feeling the warmth that is surrounding it. Connor closed his fist around the smooth stone and closed his eyes, allowing the memory to pull him in, to mesmerize him, to take him to another place, to another time. To show him the past, the truth.

When he opened his eyes, he wasn’t on the roof anymore, the rain wasn’t pitter-pattering, the thunder wasn’t rumbling and the lightning wasn’t flashing. It was warm, golden light coming from lamps build into the light yellow walls surrounding him. The ground was covered in fluffy red carpet, while the ceiling was high up but grey in colour, a few lamps also plastered there. He looked around. It seemed like the hallway of a hotel, he could smell cooking meat in the distance, it was maybe almost time for dinner. A truly angelic voice pulled him out of his thoughts. It was sweet and high, but not the annoying type of voice, it sounded truly like heaven blessed him today. He turned around and spotted a pheasant with the figure of a human running towards him, it’s lovely long blue dress complimenting it’s brown feathers, the black eyes shimmering like pearls in the golden light of the lamps. Connor felt himself spreading his arms and heard his own voice answering, even though he never attempted to move. “There you are!”

He hugged the pheasant close to him, it’s neck so long that it could with no problem look over him, but the bird was a tall one in general. But, in a very strange way, it was endearing…. He didn’t find it attractive per se, it was a bird after all, but something about the way it moved, so human-like, and how it talked to him, it made him curious… he was not scared off, he was endeared… He wanted to learn more. Connor found himself smiling as he hugged the bird close to himself, before he heard his own voice talking again: “You look truly lovely today, Adele Pheasant.”

The bird giggled, clattering with… her? Beak, before answering: “You little charmer. I missed you so much. Where were you last night?”

His smile didn’t waver, but switch, to a more sad one, but Adele Pheasant couldn’t see it due to her height and his face being buried in her shoulder. “I’m sorry dearest, but I had to take care of Mr. Deer the entire night. He was such a difficult guest this night.”

Adele pulled back and rolled her eyes, waving with hear feathered wing, noticing how most of the feathers are completely covered by the long sleeves of the dress and only the feathers covering the hand are visible. “This old moose, I swear. One day he is going to poison himself with all this alcohol he is drinking.” Adele thought for a moment, before continuing with a soft expression: “But he is a good man. He will make some people very happy one day.”

“Indeed he will.” Was everything Connor answered, which confused him. Who even was he? He seemed to be a human, his hands weren’t covered in fur or feathers, but he called Adele Pheasant ‘dearest’, which indicates a relationship. Was he a human who loved an animal with human figure? He had to find out more…

Adele looked down at him with a calm and fond expression before asking: “Shall we meet up after dinner? How about we meet in the ballroom, drink a bit together and dance? It would mean a lot to me.”

He found himself nodding, responding in a calm tone: “Of course, Adele. If you will excuse me now. I have to help in the kitchen. But I will certainly see you later in the ball room.”

And with that, the memory ended. The warm feelings were gone, the love just vanished. He was back on the roof. Connor’s eyes snapped open, looking around in confusion. What was it he had just seen? The past… he saw a memory… but it was so warm, so happy. It was a good memory. He looked at the crystal in it’s hand, at the lovely lilac colour, wondering if the colour of the memory indicated the emotion tied to it? Black was agonizing despair, pain, suffering, while lilac was love, warmth and care. Connor processed the memory, trying to decipher the clue it was supposed to give him, thinking for a few minutes, scratching pheasants and hotels as clues. Those were just the location and conversation-partner, the android doubted it would help him in any way. And then he concluded, that his only hope to find something out was…. alcohol, ironically. Adele asked whoever he was in the memory if they could meet up in the ballroom and drink together and dance. It was Connors only clue. He would have to go to Jimmy’s Bar with Hank when they got their free day on the weekend and try to find out something. It was his only chance. But now he needed to get out of the rain before the thunderstorm truly reached him. A little look around told him, that the raven already left, which didn’t surprise the android too much, it was starting to get dangerous by now and Connor had to hurry up if he wanted to get home in time.

But he couldn’t wait to get home, knowing Sumo will already bark inside, alerting Hank to his arrival. He knows, Hank will slam the door open and look at Connor in shocked Concern and immediatly wrap him in blankets and dry his hair with a towel while scolding him about running around outside while it rains cats and dogs, to which Connor would giggle, imagining Sumo’s falling from the sky. He couldn’t wait to get home, to spend some time with Hank, he was even excited for getting scolded while warmed up again. He greatly appreciated Hank’s concern, it made him feel cared for. Not like a piece of plastic, but like an actual person. And that was, what he wanted to be. A person. A partner for the lieutenant. Maybe even a son for Hank…


	4. Grimsley Reaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is fairly long for my standards and I kinda like how it turned out. I hope you guys will appreciate it too ^^
> 
> I also now have an ask-blog on tumblr! I would be very VERY happy if you would visit it and left an ask or two! You can also ask questions about the story over there, it's the same Connor! So I would be very happy if you visited me and gave me something to work with! ^^  
> Here is the link: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ask-connor-sent-by-cyberlife
> 
> Also I would be very happy about comments, preferably constructive ones, but I am happy about almost everything. They keep my motivation up and cause me to write quicker and more, because I know people care about the story.  
> Thank you for listening and I hope you enjoy the chapter! ^^

Connor had been right, of course he had been, he didn’t doubt his assumptions for even one second. The moment he returned to Hank’s home and raised his hand to knock on the wood, the door already opened with a quiet creak, Sumo greeting him by standing on his hind-legs and supporting himself by placing his front paws on Connor’s shoulders, panting happily when the android talked to him and petted him.

The truth is that both, dog and android, had grown quite fond of each other. They slept together on the couch, they took walks together, they played tug-of-war and fetch. Hank could understand how quick their bond formed, but he had asked regardless, because often humans had problems with forming a bond in a short amount of time. Connor had shrugged, a simple gesture which meant so much at the same time, while petting Sumo and staring into the distance, answering in a relaxed voice: “Dog’s are simple. For them, it doesn’t matter how you look like, what you say or think. They just want to be good dogs, they want to be pet and they want to get attention. I can get behind that, everyone needs a friend you can just be yourself in front of.” Hank completely understood what Connor meant. Sumo didn’t care for Hank’s grumpy character or drinking habits, he was just a good dog, good company. Company that didn’t judge. Connor was completely right. You could be completely yourself in front of dogs, they never judge you, that’s what makes them such good company.

The human appeared in the doorway, a towel already in hand as he scolded: “Connor! Didn’t I tell you to come directly home when it would start to fucking rain?!”

Connor had a sheepish expression on his face, water dripping from his soaked hair and falling onto the floor. The whole android was dripping, he was more water than plastic right now, which was impressive for an android. Also Hank had to talk with the government, it was simply not fair that Connor was allowed to use the puppy-eyes every time he was about to get scolded, the president needs to make this stupid shit illegal! The lieutenant threw the towel over Connors head and grabbed it again, rubbing the fluffy towel over Connor’s head aggressively who made an indignant noise and tried to squirm away, but Hank wasn’t going to let him get away that easily.

“Androids don’t get cold or sick Hank!” Connor tried, his voice muffled from the towel and Sumo licking the water off the floor. Even to this day, Connor never understood why Hank was fussing over him like an overprotective mama-bear. He was well aware of the fact that Connor was an android and therefore only looked like a human. He was in no way working like one, his skin was synthetic, his endoskeleton was plastic and his heart was a pump that can be removed if you simply take off Connor’s shirt and pull with enough force. Hank, on that matter, didn’t care in the slightest. Literally not one single fuck was given regarding this topic and Connor would have given up by know, but he also knew that Hank was just a worried father and that he felt better when he had someone to fuss over. Both human and android knew that it gave him a sense of purpose and as long as Connor didn’t let himself get killed again, everything was fine. At least so that was the case so far.

The android was currently sitting on the couch, Hank next to him who was currently drinking a simple beer from the bottle. The lieutenant didn’t drink as much as he used to, mainly because Connor would always stare at him and get rid of the bottles of scots whiskey or other high-percentage alcohol when Hank was not looking. It just needed a minute and three bottles disappeared and Hank had no idea how Connor did it. He had secret theories that Androids hide certain abilities from the humans, like inhuman speed, but he didn’t have any proof so far and the website from Cyberlife was similar to pandoras box on that matter. Said android has made himself comfortable, literally sinking into the cushions of the worn out couch, Sumo draped over the body and getting some nice belly rubs while Connor’s gaze was focused on the old buddy-cop show the two were currently watching. Hank really didn’t appreciate modern-day Television, apart from sport of course, he liked watching Basketball and occasionally Hockey, but regarding other forms of enternainment, the humour or shocking moments in the new shows fell really flat.

Not even the animated movies resonated well with him. He just thought it missed the heart the old shows used to have, he couldn’t exactly explain it, it just didn’t work out with him. Which is the reason Hank introduced Connor to some old shows he used to watch in his time as a young adult, like Brooklyn Nine Nine for example. It was a good show he enjoyed a lot and even Connor seemed to really like it, considering how he would always snicker at some of the jokes or curiously ask Hank about certain things when he didn’t understand something. He even came in the interrogation room as a joke and screamed at a suspect while playing a guitar aggressively. Hank almost pissed himself laughing, especially because it actually worked and the suspect confessed to what he did, it was one of the best days he had at the police station, by far. Hank watched Android and dog, Android still shimmering from a little film of water on his synthetic skin, but noticably warming up.

Hank could always instantly see when Connor was cold. He always told him that he didn’t feel cold, that androids don’t feel cold, but with deviancy came emotions and with emotions came pain and with pain came the awareness of discomfort and feeling cold was no exception from it. And Connor was an open book regarding discomfort. His skin would become noticably pale, until he could as well jump in the snow and hide, no one would find him, his lips would turn colour, similar to humans when they were cold and then he would slowly start shivering and then stop moving, like his entire system literally freezed. And then Hank has to take Connor and bring him to a warmer place where he could come back. Every time this happens Connor is very antsy and jumpy and even more aware of everything around them and Hank had asked Connor one time. The android had only answered with

“Bad memories.”

And then refused to answer anymore questions regarding the topic. Hank was suspicious but didn’t press. He didn‘t want to push Connor’s stress levels too high, he didn’t want to see how the now deviant android would destroy himself from the sheer amount of stress. Hank sighed and took a swig from his beer. Sometimes he thought he had a ticking time-bomb living here and not a 6 months old android, sent by Cyberlife, with way too much curiosity. It was like guarding a 3 year old with all the abilities of a full-grown adult. Which is exhausting to say the least.

But right now, Connor looked comfortable. And the most peaceful he has ever looked in the last weeks, since the poor android was plagued by nightmares. But Hank had this strange feeling, that Connor wasn’t telling him the complete truth. For example was the android still hiding the actual things he saw in his nightmare and he also kept the incident at the police-station, with the weird crystal a secret. Hank was concerned and ready to put a leash on Connor and never let him out of his sight again, but he was aware, that this wasn’t going to work. He really didn’t want to ask Connor, he looked so peaceful right now, but he really needed to know at least a tiny bit of detail, so he could make his own research, preferably to help Connor and or save his plastic ass from a potentially dangerous situation. So the lieutenant cleared his throat awkwardly after taking another unnecessary large swig of his beer, before turning his head to Connor, who was still unmoving.

“Moment of truth Connor.”

Hank began. It was dark in the living-room, which was the only reason he was able to see the blue light next to Connor’s head flicker to yellow. Hank frowned at that, but continued anyway.

“What is it with this crystal you napped from the police-station?”

Connor immediatly stiffened like a board when he answered a bit too quickly:

“Memory.”

Hank squinted at the tense android sitting next to him, waiting for him to continue on his own and asking, when nothing came:

“What do you mean? Whole sentences please.”

Connor stroked Sumo’s fur absentmindedly, apparently trying to find the right words, testing them on his tongue before confounding them again and trying again.

“The- The memories from long dead people who guarded something… And he wants me to find the memories…”

Hank grew more and more frustrated and no one could blame him. When Connor started to be even more foreboding than Kamski, then Hanks patience ran quickly thin.

“Who Connor?! Who sent you to get these fucking memories?!”

Connor’s head suddenly turned so he was looking directly into Hank’s eyes and the lieutenant got unnerved when he saw these lifeless brown eyes and also a bit shocked when he spotted a tint of green in them. Connor’s mouth opened but his voice sounded foreign, like he was talking through an almost broken television, distorted and far away and it sent a chill down Hank’s spine.

“Christoph Vanrose.”

Before he suddenly got up, Sumo yelping in surprise at the sudden strenght the android showed by just pushing him off the couch by getting up. Hank’s eyes widened at that surprising action and he asked:

“Where are you going?!”

It was still storming outside, both of them could hear the thunder roaring and the rain dropping like bullets. Connor threw his new black jacket over his shoulders and put his favourite beanie on his head, completely hiding his LED and hair like this.

“Jericho.”

Was all Connor said, before he turned to the door and opened it, a gust of wind throwing the jacket back and immediatly soaking his front.

“Connor, wait!” But Hank’s call fell on deaf ears as the front door slammed shut with a loud banging sound, the lieutenants eyes widening when he fell off the couch, scrambling to get his clothes to follow the android. He quickly grabbed a shirt, threw his rain-jacket over his shoulder and put some baggy pants on and then tying his hair back into a pony-tail so it wouldn’t cling to his face or fall into his eyes. He decided to leave Sumo at home, as much as the dog enjoys water and mud, right now was not the time for him to be outside. Hank stormed through the door, only to be greeted by thunder cracking through the night and rain so strong, it was almost impossible to see through. But Hank had to look for the android, had to find him in this raging storm. He couldn’t use his car, the streets were flooded, it was too much water to handle for Detroit. Hank’s worry only grew when he couldn’t see the android. Where was he? He couldn’t be gone already, could he?! He placed his hands in front of his mouth like a megaphone and screamed at the top of his lungs:

“CONNOOOOR!”

No answer, no reaction in any way, just the loud cracking of the thunder, like it wanted to answer him, not that it was going to help him. Hank’s mind was racing, he had no idea what to do, what to say, who to call for help. Connor was acting strange, something was so very wrong and he didn’t know what it was, what he was supposed to do to help. Connor didn’t want to talk to him and everything he DID decide to say was even more cryptic than Kamkskis bullshit. He briefly considered getting to Kamkski, beat the shit out of him and then demand to know what is going on with Connor, but Hank doubted that the snob would know anything. He helped to program androids, but they became deviant on their own, without Kamkski’s influence. The probability of him knowing anything is exceptionally low and certainly not worth any kind of visit to test that low chance of him actually having some kind of information. Hank had to think, but he didn’t know what could help him. He didn’t like to admit it, but he had to trust Connor on this one.

He had to go to Jericho to find him.

Connor briefly considered going to Jericho, to ask for help, to ask Markus what may be wrong with him, if it was because of his deviancy or if the ground of everything lied somewhere else, but the android didn’t think long about it before turning on his way and instead going down an empty street, wind whipping against him and making it harder to move forwards, his feet in cold-water because his new sneakers certainly weren’t made to walk through water with. He felt the cold water nagging at his synthetic skin, his biocomponents running slower than usual, dimming his reactions and making him weak, but he wasn’t going to stop. He always accomplished his mission, he wasn’t going to stop now. He was so close to a useful clue. Sadly, the only thing he could cling to was Adele’s question to drink together later. He wouldn’t know where else to go. He didn’t know the building they were in while the memory played nor was he aware of any talking pheasants or ballrooms. So it was his only guess.

The android fumbled with his hands, imagining a coin would be there so he could recalibrate himself and distract himself from these nagging thoughts, from memories, from the memory of fire burning his synthetic skin off and melting his plasting exoskeleton. The mere memory of the burning sensation, the actual pain, it sent a shiver down his spine, his thirium-pump picking up his pace in his distress. He wouldn’t stop. He won’t stop. He can’t stop. It needs to stop. The memories need to stop. The reincarnation needs to stop. He had to find the right bar. And so he visited bar after bar, but every bar was either closed or completely empty, not even a bartender available which caused the android great frustration.

By the time he reached his 8th bar, Jimmy’s Bar nontheless, he was soaked to the very core, Connor was convinced that he had water in his system, but he was in no way damaged, just heavily undercooled, his core temperature was too low for his own good, but for the android it was one of those times again, where his own health didnd’t matter to him. He just wanted to find out the truth. And, to his surprise, when he opened the door to Jimmy’s bar, the ‘No Android’s allowed’ sign finally put down, he immediatly spotted someone in a booth. A man, rather young, face as pale and perfect as porcellain, eyes as blue as ice and just as piercing as an icicle. His hair was black, ravenblack, at least in the rather dim light the bar was illuminated in. On the side’s of his head his hair was already white, not grey, white, probably due to very intense stress if his scans were correct. The man’s hair was…. unique to say the least, it was styled up at the sides, so that it was similar to a bird spreading it’s wings. Heavy bags were visible under his clear and sharp eyes, a very clear sign of either lack of sleep or heavy stress, even though it was most likely both in that case. His choice of clothing was also rather odd, he looked strangely formal in his black-blue suit-jacket that was even bottomoed up, his dress-pants in the same colour and the white collar-shirt. His shoes were midnight-black and looked quite expensive, certainly dress shoes that should only be worn on special occasions. But, also noteworthy is, even though the clothes seemed to fit the tall and slender man perfectly, it was obvious that it was a little bit too big, so that it wasn’t touching his skin too much, which was strange. Further evidence was needed to prove his suspicion. A quick scan of his face revealed to Connor that his name is Grimsley Reaper, age 28, currently without any work, but he got lucky in a casino in las vegas and won a jackpot of multiple million dollars, so there weren’t any financial problems. His criminal record was, apart from suspicion of illegal betting and suspicion to be part of an illegal cult clean. Connor was sure. This man had to help him. So the soaked android moved forward, slowly, calculated, completely focused on the man sitting in that little booth.

Even when he was standing directly in front of Grimsley, the man didn’t look, not even one second to maybe register Connor in an way. The android cleared his throat, feeling a bit awkward and out of place, but he wouldn’t back out of this situation now.

“Excuse me.”

No reaction.

“My name is Connor. I’m- I’m looking for some answers…” He nodded towards the place across from grimsley, continuing:

“May I sit there?”

Grimsley looked up for a moment, locking eyes with Connor, blue meeting brown, and the android immediatly felt like his soul was being pierced as the man was watching him like a hawk, a smile on his face as he stood completely still. Connor noticed that his eyes seemed to be tired. Tired but intense, which was an odd combination, but it was the only thing Connor could describe them as. But still, Grimsley looked tired, maybe even completely exhausted. Grimsley’s smile didn’t falter, it got only a bit wider before he answered in his relaxed and smooth voice:

“I don’t see why not. Make yourself at home.”

He gestured to the seat across him and Connor quickly slided inside the booth, placing his soaked hands on the table, shivering lightly, because his jacket, despite being made from the rain, didn’t protect him from the wrath of nature. It surprised him even more that Grimsley seemed to be completely dry, not a single droplet of water on his flawless clothing, the eyeliner he was wearing in no way smudged, his hand’s dry with black nailpolish on the nails of the long fingers. Connor followed Grimley’s hand-movements, seeing how the man seemed to have a similar tick than Connor, considering that he was playing around with a coin, and that rather impressively for a human. A few minutes passed by without anyone saying a word, Grimsley seemed to enjoy the company while Connor was just observing the coin-play, trying to come up with a good way to start the conversation. He didn’t want to scare Grimsley off, and saying “A shadow with glowing green eyes in my dream told me to find memories which seems to connect to a whole cult, do you know something about it?” didn’t seem to be too tactful and clever. However, he snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Grimsley’s smooth voice breaking through to him.

“Do you want to try?”

Connor’s eyes snapped up and met once again grimsleys, the same tired grin on his face as he held out the coin to the android. Connor felt something close to embarrassment, because the gambler seemed to have him caught staring. Thankfully he didn‘t seem to mind, so Connor was going to be honest with him and answered with a simple:

“Yes, please.”

Grimsley snapped the coin over to Connor who caught it with ease and immediatly began to roll it over his knuckles, snapping and throwing it from one hand to the other or into the air, only to catch it again, not even noticing how Grimsley observed Connor’s movements with great interest. After a few seconds of calibrating and calming down from his emotional distress, he finally slowed down his frantic flipping and looked back up to Grimsley, feeling a bit embarrassed by this whole situation, even though he couldn’t even explain why that was. The gambler simply chuckled and began:

“You’re good. It’s nice to find someone who is just as good at coinflipping, considering that actual coins are rare nowadays.”

Connor smiled back, a bit hesitantly and responded, a bit of uncertainty evident in his voice:

“I think the technology or future shouldn’t stop you from doing what you enjoy to do.”

Grimsley’s smile widened slightly, his answer simple, yet effective:

“Wise words, Connor.”

Connor smiled and was about to flip the coin again, before he realized that he technically didn’t know Grimsleys name yet and therefore quickly asked:

“Since you already know my name, may I please know yours?”

The smile on Grimsley’s face didn’t seem empty anymore, not tired, it almost seemed smug as he propped his elbow on the table and supported his hand with his hand, looking at the android for multiple seconds before answering in a sly tone:

“I doubt I have to introduce myself to an android with the simple ability to just scan me and know my deepest and darkest secrets.”

Connor’s eyes widened, surprise evident on his face as he leaned slightly forward, asking in a curious voice:

“How did you know I was an android?!”

Connor took great pride in his ability to work undercover, unseen and not discovered by anyone, a fish in the swarm, like anyone else, even though he was technically an anglerfish, waiting to pick out his prey. Grimsley chuckled and answered in a slightly mocking tone:

“No sane human would run around in the rain like your clothes suggest you did.”

He looked up with another smirk: “That and your LED is poking out from under the hat.”

Connor immediatly reached up to his temple, noticing that his beanie did indead slip a bit upward, probably due to the wind and was indeed revealing his LED that was currently pulsing in a steady yellow. Connor smiled sheepishly, pulling his beanie off to wring it out, massive amounts of water dripping onto the wooden floor as he was doing though.

“You busted me, Mr. Reaper.”

Grimsley smirked again, one of his indeed very white teeth visible and poking out from under his upper lip as he responded:

“Grimsley is more than enough Connor. I’m no man who treasures such formalities. But please, tell me…”

He inched closer, so that their noses were almost touching, tired intense blue eyes meeting confused but curious brown ones, sparks were exchanging between them as he asked in a truly curious tone:

“What brings you here to me on this stormy evening?”

Connor thought about what to answer. He already had a very basic image of Grimsley’s characteristics and concluded that the male wasn’t easily scared off by something weird and especially not by weird androids soaked in water, that much was certain. Quite the opposite actually, he seemed to be fond of the endearing kind of insane, the ‘It’s raining like crazy, but my best friend is outside, I better bring them an umbrella’ kind of crazy. So Connor decided, that he was going to try it, he was going to risk it and tell Grimsley the truth. So he pulled the beautiful lilac crystal out of his pocket and presented it to the raven-haired male, only answering with two words:

“Christoph Vanrose.”

Grimsley stared at the crystal with a very special intensity, as if he was trying to destroy the crystal by just looking at it, even though his face was passive and still somewhat grinning, his eyes betrayed the ferocity and disgust and…. fear he was currently feeling. The male buried in his pockets and pulled out his own crystal, this one a deep and scary black too. Grimsley looked at Connor, his eyes drilling into Connor’s as he asked:

“You are a guardian too?”

Connor’s jaw locked for a moment, his gaze hardening as he shook his head, placing his memory on the table as he answered:

“Not a guardian. Just an android looking for answers.”  
Grimsley nodded solemnly, looking at the two memories on the table as he mumbled quietly: 

 

“Christoph Vanrose…”

Connor’s eyebrows almost shot into his hairline by how far he pulled them up, immediatly asking, getting very close to Grimsley’s face while doing so:

“Do you know him?! Anything about him?! I keep getting dreams about him, he tries to talk to me but I cannot understand him! Please, do you know anything?!”

Grimsley leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of his chest, the smile finally, finally disappearing for a moment as he seemed to think, to actually consider his answer, before he answered:

“I’m sorry Connor. I know the name. I know it is an important name. But I don’t know who he is or what meaning he has for us or them.”

Connor tilted his head slightly, confusion reflecting in his puppy-eyes as he parroted:

“Them?”

Grimsley nodded, taking a quick glance around the bar, making sure it was completely empty, before he responded in a slightly hushed voice, his smile returning once more:

“The cult you probably already heard of. Every guardian is forced to be an immediate member and leaving the cult means immediate sacrificing, only to be reborn as someone else with the memory of your death and your knowledge of being a guardian.” The gambler closed his eyes for a moment, before continuing: “I just want it all to end. Which is why I am gathering information.”

Connor looked at Grimsley with sympathy, he couldn’t help himself, he found himself actually liking the strange human, the clicking of his heeled dress-shoes, his rather old-fashioned suit, his strange, bird-like hair…. He wanted to help. He needed to help.

“You may be able to help me Grimsley. I’m trying to find out the secrets but I’m currently stuck… my next clue led me to the bar where you were.”

Grimsley rose an eyebrow seemingly very interested in all of this as he questioned:

“So, did it? What do you want to know?”

Connor took a deep breath, considering his options. He could ask for multiple things, but he had to consider that Grimsley most likely didn’t know much about this whole situation either. But the part that he was a forced member of the cult might make it a little bit easier for him to win the gambler over. He decided what question to ask and opened his mouth to speak:

“Where is paradise?”

Grimsley’s eyes flashed for a moment, not even one tiny amount of hesitation on his face as he responded like shot from the pistol:

“It’s a club at the very edge of Detroit. At least is everyone pretending that it is a very fancy club where only the best of people can enter, but it is actually a place to meet for the people of the club, to do weird stuff, I don’t really pay attention to what is going on in there.”

Connor’s eyes lit up at the information. It probably wasn’t the paradise he heard about in the memory, but it was the closest clue he currently had. He immediatly stood up, not able to hide his excitement as he asked:

“Can you tell me the coordinates?! Or the adress?! I need to go there as quickly as possible!”

Grimsley seemed to consider for a moment, head bopping from left to right, eyes closed, smile still on his face as he silently thought, memories and coin long forgotted on the table. Connor made a silent note to take a look at the memorie once they were in a more private place, but not right now, anyone could come in at any moment, which motivated him to stuff the lilac crystal back in his pocket. Grimsleys eyes opened as he answered in his smooth voice:

“I can bring you there if you really need to go there right away.”

Connor smiled gratefully at the gambler, who smiled in return and slowly rose from his seat, an answer from Connor not necessary, the android made it with his little bouncing and excited vibrating fairly obvious what was going on. Grimsley quickly paid for the drink he had, just putting the money on the counter since Jimmy seemed to be currently not available. Grimsley moved towards the exit, but stopped when he heard the voice of Connor:

“Wait!”

And waiting he did. He did not turn around to look at Connor or move in any other way. He just stopped and listened to the nice voice of the android:

“If you are a guardian…. which one are you?”

Grimsley closed his eyes, grin reappearing on his face as he answered nonchalantly: “The pheasant.” Before leaving the bar, Connor close behind him.

On their way to paradise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hoped you enjoy it. I would really appreciate comments and a visit at my blog. There isn't much so far, because it just started, but I also need asks to start, so you know. ^^


	5. Samsara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, they really mean a lot to me and keep my motivation high, because I can see that people care about it, actually see their words, which is a huge motivational boost for me. So thank you so much! I would be very happy if you continue to give me comments, it would make me very happy!
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter! Some ominous shit is happening.

Fighting through the storm was hard, the wind whipped against his face and his clothes were soaked within seconds, but Hank didn’t stop, not for any reason. He had to hurry, he had no idea what was happening to Connor, but it was something he didn’t understand, and with some small chance, maybe the androids at Jericho knew what was happening. Connor said he was heading to Jericho, maybe he wanted to know himself, maybe he finally accepted that something was wrong and left to seek help. Yeah, right. Hank knew Connor for a few months now and that was more than enough to know, that the android was the most stubborn creature he had ever seen in his entire life.

Mor stubborn than a fucking toddler that didn’t get their favourite candy-bar at the store. Hank huffed at the thought. Connor was basically just a toddler, maybe even just an infant with his remarkable age of not-even-a-fucking-year. As advanced as Connor was, as much capabilitie and compacitie his programmed mind had, he was still naive. He believes he can solve everything on his own, that he doesn’t need others, but Hank knew the truth. Since Connor became deviant, it was obvious that the android was lonely, and even more obvious that Connor had no fucking clue what the emotions he was feeling are. He does things more on impulse now, sitting on things he isn’t supposed to and not wearing his neat Cyberlife-Jacket anymore, thank fuck, but that didn’t mean that Connor knew what was going on.

Because, Hank knew, Connor had no clue. And he couldn’t blame him, not even one bit. It must be hard to be made with a purpose, only to throw everything out of the window to become free, but without a goal, without a purpose.

Hank looked up, his vision clouded by the raindrops aggressively assaulting his eyes, but he could see the Cyberlife-Store that was currently inhabited by androids as ‘New-Jericho’, some kind of inn and hospital for androids all over Detroit and welcome for any androids that were yet unable to find good paying jobs to rent own apartments or need protection from humans. Hank and Connor visited on a regular basis, Connor would talk with Markus, apparently these two became very good friends over time, and Connor would also entertain some of the children with detective-stories, even though he left some of the very gruesome details out. Sometimes Hank brought Sumo along, the child-androids loved the big dog. Hank even got some pictures from the small androids, childrens scribbling, but he was still moved by it, even though he would never admit it. He still keeps a surprisingly good picture of Hank, Connor and Sumo in his unnecessary wallet. It was a nice reminder until he and Connor got around to making an actual family picture, but both of them were just too lazy and didn’t redeem it important enough to actually care enough.

Hank stepped closer and hammered against the door, hoping to whatever god was up there that they would let him in and that Connor was there, maybe talking to Markus or maybe allowing five different children to climb him like a goddamn vine. He tapped his foot impatiently, shivering slightly from the biting cold and his soaked clothes that were clinging to his skin, this was taking too long for him.

Finally the doors opened with a little clicking sound and a more known face of the revolution appeared before him, blonde hair, puppy eyes, Hank believed his name was Simon. They never talked much, but he was a decent enough guy that he was okay in Hanks book. He hadn’t even time to greet Simon, the Androids eyes immediatly widened and he ushered Hank inside, stumbling over his own words as he explained:

“What are you doing here Hank?! It’s storming outside! It’s cold, you aren’t dressed for a walk, come in, come in!” Hank stumbled inside the building, wrapping his arms around himself and looking aroind, his teeth making a clattering sound as he tried to warm back up. New-Jericho was always well heated due to the many children roaming around, thankfully, because Hank didn’t want to freeze his ass off in the old store. However, it was late and no one was currently in the main-room since most androids try to get some form of sleep schedule to make them more human, powering down for the night to rest in rooms, similar to humans, it was kinder to their battery and kept them powered and energized for the day. Connor did it too, occasionally, said it is a nice feeling to just close your eyes and not think about anything, no alerts flashing in your vision. Hank could only assume that it felt peaceful, like sleeping without any dreams. Just sleeping, just peace.

Hank looked around, trying to spot Connor and a little bit of panic already squeezing his heart when he didn’t see him, causing him to turn around to Simon and ask in an urgent voice: “Where is Connor?!” Simon’s eyes widened at Hank’s words, surprise and concern prominent on his face as he answered nervously:

“Connor is not here. He didn’t visit for a while now.” His brow slightly creased in concern as he continued: “Is he alright? He was acting strange the last time he was here. Is he sick? Does he need our help?”

Hank looked at Simon in shock, almost unable to comprehend what he just heard. Connor wasn’t here. Connor lied to go somewhere else, somewhere Hank didn’t know, where Hank wouldn’t find him. Detroit was fucking huge, he would never find Connor, especially since the chance that he was walking in the completely wrong direction. Connor could be god-knows-where. He could be in actual danger, especially because he was currently so confused, causing in him to be a bit slower in processing. Hank shook his head without any words before immediatly heading to Markus’ room, knowing the leader of the androids was currently living in New-Jericho, making sure everyone is alright and occasionally visiting his human-father Carl Manfred.

Hank was praying that Markus was here, currently available for Hank, because the lieutenant really needed help. He knocked only once before already opening the door, catching Markus by surprise who was currently reading a rather old book on his bed. The android looked up in surprise before his gaze softened, quickly standing up to greet Hank with a warm welcome, before his brow slightly furrowed as he saw how soaked and distressed Hank seemed to be.

“Lieutenant Anderson, what a nice surprise to see you. Is everything alright? Your stress levels seem to be unhealthily high.”

Hank huffed and slid a hand through his grey hair, the ponytail he was currently having clinging to his neck and dripping small amounts of water. Markus knew that Hank would only come alone and at that time if it was urgent and Hank knew that Markus knew, so the lieutenant didn’t waste any time with unnecessary formalities and directly came to the topic:

“Connor. Connor just left the house, claiming he would go to New-Jericho, but Simon just told me that Connor never got here and now I have no fucking idea where he could be, he was acting so strange recently, I don’t know if he can defend himself like he used to in this state.”

Markus’ eyes widened at Hank’s words, his own concern immediatly growing as he stood up from the bed and closed the book, immediatly discarding it, for it wasn’t interesting anymore. Not in the slightest.

“It’s true, Connor didn’t come here, not in a week. I was growing concerned as well. I was actually planning on contacting him tomorrow, but I guess I can do it now.”

Markus closed his eyes, concentrating, focusing, trying to find the right model to contact. There was only one RK800-model out and about, he just had to find it. A few minutes passed, the frustration and strain on Markus face growing as he slowly said:

“He is not nearby. I need to expand my search to have a chance to find him. This might take a while though.”

Hank exhaled heavily through his nose, waving dismissively with a hand as he sat down on the bed and grabbed the towel Simon got him to try and dry himself at least a little bit. “Go ahead, not like I have anything fucking else to do. Just find Connor…. please.” Hank wouldn’t know what else to do. Markus was his last option. And the leader of the androids was going to find Connor. There was no other option.

\---------------

‘Paradise’, the so called club, really wasn’t anything special. It looked like any other nightclub with flashing neon-sign and loud music echoing miles away. Connor tried to scan any suspicious signs, but there really wasn’t anything to pique his interest. It just looked like an ordinary nightclub, but judging from Grimsley’s grin and tired eyes, it seemed to be nothing special for him either.

Nontheless, Grimsley immediatly reached into the glove compartment of the car and pulled a mask and a black cloak out, attempting to put the mask on, before shooting Connor a quick glance and a tired smile, explaining:

“Trust me, it is better if these people don’t know who you really are. Not only for YOUR personal safety.”

Connor nodded silently, observing how Grimsley put the pheasant mask on his face, his sharp eyes still shining through the mask like iceicles. The mask covered his whole face, Connor was impressed that even his hair fit fully under the rather artistically crafted mask. The android tilted his head slightly as Grimsley put the cloak on, looking at him questionaly, which the gambler apparently noticed as he informed:

“I have always a second mask and cloak in there, in case mine get damaged.” Connor’s gaze brightened as he immediatly shuffled through the little compartment, pulling a fox mask and another black cloak out, which the android immediatly put on. The mask restricted his vision, just a little bit, but it was still bothersome, but apart from that,his whole body was now covered and no one would be able to recognize him. Perfect.

Grimsley casted a glance in his direction and nodded, since Connor wasn’t able to see his expression.

“Excellent. This shall suffice. Now, shall we enter or do you want to ask me more questions?”

Connor has questions, quite a lot in fact, the problem was just, that he didn’t know if Grimsley knew the answer to this question. From everything he gathered, he looked for something not even the guardians knew about and he was sure, if Grimsley knew something important, that he would share it with Connor. He had one question for the gambler though:

“How am I supposed to act in there?”

Grimsley tilted his head slightly, clearly thinking about the question while allowing the coin to roll across his knuckles, the little movement seemingly calmning his supressed anxiety:

“Ignore everyone. Some strange things are going on in there. Don’t talk to people and don’t respond to them, they are probably trying to either drag you into something illegal or straight up kill you, which is also illegal, not for you though, you would be dead.”

Connor squinted behind his fox-mask. Grimsley seemed to be a bit out of it…. was he nervous? Most likely, yes. He could understand that the gambler didn’t want to be here, paradise didn’t exactly sound like a pleasant place to be. But they had to do this. Connor reached out and grasped Grimsley’s hand in his, causing the gambler to look up in probably surprise, Connor couldn’t see.

“We will get through this together, okay?” He squeezed the hand slightly to prove his point.

“I won’t let anyone hurt you and I’m more than convinced that you will keep an eye on me.”

Grimsley stared for a long while, unmoving, no muscle twitching, but the android could basically feel how the smile returned to his face and he interlaced their fingers, nodding to himself as he responed:

“I don’t have any doubts. Let’s do this.”

Connor nodded and they left the car together, the rain immediatly soaking them but, as Connor realized, the mask and cloak were very thick and protected him completely from the assaulting water. He saw grimsley putting his hood up out of the corner of his eye and proceeded to do the same, so it basically looked like animals with human-bodies were coming closer. Connor wondered if the raven was also just wearing a mask, before discarding this thought immediatly. The raven’s beak moved, it’s eyes were alive, it’s hands were wings and feathers. It had to be real.

Grimsley took the lead and started walking towards the club, Connor right behind him, trying to not look around too much and to pretend that he indeed belonged here, which he obviously didn’t. He doubted a cult like this would allow police in here. The doorman was a big and beefy man with a boar-mask over his face, apparently making sure that no one could recognize him aswell, who knows, maybe this man has a family, a loving wife and children who are unaware of what he is doing and where the money is coming from. Connor subconciously straightened his posture and saw Grimsley doing the same, another sign of his obious tension.

The bouncer looked at them suspiciously, maybe, he couldn’t see, at least he was looking at them for multiple seconds before he asked: “Roles?” Connor blinked in confusion. Roles? He wasn’t asking for a name or anything? Or a license or a member-card? This was certainly strange. Grimsley’s voice was casual though as he answered nonchlantly:

“Pheasant.”

The man looked up and stared at the pheasant mask, apparently asking for a proof, because just saying it was too draining, they were two people after all… He could basically feel Grimsley rolling his eyes behind the mask as he pulled his black memory-crystal out, presenting it to the bouncer who took a little step back, before nodding and allowing Grimsley through, before his gaze rested on Connor, asking once more:

“Role?”

Connor’s thirium pump picked up it’s pace, he didn’t know what to say, which role would get him in the club, Grimsley didn’t tell him, he should’ve asked, he did say it was a special club after all, dammit!

His surprise was big when he heard Grimsley answering for him, relief washing over him and sending Grimsley all his thanks, mentally, even though he was no android and couldn’t hear them.

“He was sent. By Christoph Vanrose.”

The bouncer took a huge step back at this, regarding Connor closer as if he was able to see anything through the mask or cloak, before regaining his composure, a terrible attempt, his voice still shook and he could see him trembling: “Someone expected you. If you could follow me. You can come along too.” He said, motioning to Grimsley before moving into the club. Connor felt nervous, an unnecessary gulp escaping him as he looked at Grimsley, who shrugged, apparently just as unknowing as Connor was.

Hesitently, their steps quiet and careful, the two followed the bouncer into the club, Connor immediatly noticing that the speakers were not in the club, they were in the entry hall to only cause the illusion of this building being a dance club. He shouldn’t look around too much, but he was curious, noticing how the entry-hall seemed to be exactly like a club to dance at, even though no one was present, confirming to the android that this place is definetly not for getting drunk and dancing to way too loud music.

There was something bigger. And he was going to see it in a few seconds.

The bouncer led them through a long dark corridor, slowly opening the black-double doors, ominous music immediatly audible. The two followed the bouncer discreetly while Connor also looked around in interest. It was true, everyone was wearing black robes and animal masks, the possibilities seemed to be rather endless, every bird, every mammal, every little animal was present as a mask. It was a little unnerving for Connor, he couldn’t scan any faces, couldn’t trace stress-levels as well, he was helpless, his hyperaware sensors weren’t going to help him in here.

And Grimsley was certainly right, people are doing strange things, singing in different languages, it sounded like german and dutch, while…. actually killing people. Sacrificing them. Either drowning them or stabbing them or decapatating them and putting their heads on a stick to show other people, who cheered at all these sick displays of blood, gore and murder. Connor felt sick, seriously sick, if he wasn’t an android that didn’t need to eat, he would have thrown up by now. How could people come here to potentially die or murder other people. His inner police-android screamed at him to contact Hank, to contact the DPD, to do something, but he knew he couldn’t. He needed to find answers. If the police comes and arrests everyone and blocks the club he will never find any answers. As wrong as it is, as ethically and lawfully wrong as it it, he kept going, Grimsley right behind him who appeared just as tense as Connor felt. At least he wasn’t alone. That made everything a bit more bearable.

It was dark, the only sourced of light were a dimly lit chandelier and red lights everywhere, making everything look like it was tainted with blood, like it was made of blood. Connor felt his artifical muscles tense when he heard screams of dismay or the splatter of blood, the ominous singing stopping for a moment, replaced by cheering before everything turned to before. Connor kept his composure, he could in no way panic or suggest he didn’t belong, it would immediatly heighten his chance to get hurt or maybe even killed.

The bouncer let them to one of the few tables, the furniture itself made of dark wood, a few scrabs visible, maybe from potential knifes that were rammed into the wood. On one of the chairs sat a person, spine ramrod straight, face hidden by a deer-mask, the cloak black with golden crests. Connor hesitated for a few moments before he walked to the deer and table, asking: “You expected me?” The person looked up, their movements strangely mechanic, as if the person before them was not alive, had no soul.

“Indeed I was. I was hoping you would finally arrive, I have been waiting for quite some time now.”

Connor’s eyes narrowed, thirium pump picking up it’s pace as he head that all the music suddenly stopped. Grimsley looked around for him, backing up and almost bumping into Connor as he whispered: “Everyone is staring at us…”

Connor took the bait and followed Grimsley gaze. Sure enough, every member of this cult has stopped what they were doing and stared at them before, very slowly, turning into their direction and walking towards them, all of them walking in the same rhytm, even using the same leg, all of these dead mask-eyes staring at them, piercing his very soul. They formed a little circle around them, all of these eyes staring with a strange intensity Connor was barely able to comprehend. He decided to try his best and ignore them, his tension only growing when a few of them reached out and pulled Grimsley back, keeping him in a lock so he couldn’t interfere. He tried to struggle for a few seconds before giving up and going completely limp but looking at Connor the whole time, seemingly concerned.

The android took a deep breath and turned around. “What is it that you want from me?”

The person pulled his mask a little bit up so the under half of their face was visible, revealing a row of sharp teeth as they grinned, their skin white without any scrabs, scratches or dents, as they claimed: “I know that you are looking for answers and I’m ready to give them to you.” They gestured to the chair across to them. “Please, sit down. Make yourself comfortable.”

Connor hesitently obeyed, sitting down on the rather uncomfortable wooden chair, hands stiff in his lap as he glared at the person across him, not that they could see it, they were still wearing the fox mask. The person reached out with their hand, indicating that they wanted Connor to do the same, which he already didn’t like, but he felt like he wasn’t given a choice on that matter. Grimsley wouldn’t be able to help him and he doubted he would get out of this alive if he angered every single member of this cult. He had no choice. He reached his hand out, the person immediatly grabbing his hand and interlacing their fingers, the skin on their fingers retreating and revealing plastic, Connor’s eyes widening behind his mask. An android! He didn’t expect an android to be here, yet alone be an apparently well-known member.

The androids connected as Connor’s skin retreated as well, even though the mind to the android was blocked, he couldn’t see anything, the member of the cult was not ready to give him information that easily, it seemed like. He didn’t expect as the android grinned even wider and suddenly slammed both their hands onto the hard surface of the table, fishing a knife out of the pocket of their cloak, Connor tensing up as he spotted human blood on it, but he wasn’t able to retreat his hand as the android reached out and stabbed through both of their hands and through the table, trabbing them both onto the table.

Connor gasped in pain before groaning and gritting his teeth, his fingers clenching and unclenching as he attempted to get in any way away from the sensation, from the pain, but he wouldn’t get out of this one. Not anymore. The android still grinned as they also pulled out a gun of their pocket, carefully sliding it towards Connor and explaining in a strangely excited voice:

“One survived shot, one answered question.”

Connor clenched his teeth, feeling his thirium mix with the thirium of the other android and hearing Grimsley behind him calling out to him, obviously worried for his safety and wellbeing. Connor couldn’t answer right now. He too the safety of the gun off, which was hard considering that he only had one hand, and turned the barrel, before placing the gun right next to his temple, squinting at the android who grinned in anticipation, wanting nothing more than to see Connor die horribly apparently. They were permanently connected, they could feel what the other felt, it would be traumatic either way. Connor will either die or have to feel the android die… He could only lose here. But he had to pick the best defeat possible.

He pulled the trigger, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding when only a clicking was audible, before picking his first question:

“Who is Christoph Vanrose?”

He immediatly felt words filling his mind while the other android was reaching for the gun, the image of the man shadowed, only able to see the body and rather noble suit, but the face was in the shadows, only the glowing green eyes were visible. But the words he heard were providing him with quite some information.

Leader.

Founder.

Saviour.

He is the leader and founder of the family and he is the one was will lead them to greatness again.

He died in the attempt to reach eternal life, but he is the chosen one, he will always return.

We are still waiting for him.

Connor gasped at the new information he was given. Christoph is a part of this whole movement, not only that, he was the one who founded it. This was hard to swallow, even though Connor already expected some kind of involvement on Christoph’s part. He secretly hoped he would dream again, just so he could ask him more questions…. this gets more complicated with every new information he was given…

The other android pointed the gun at their head and pulled the trigger, a clicking sound once again audible before they slid the gun back to Connor, who grabbed it, ignoring the slight tremor in his hand. He couldn’t show fear. It would only get him into trouble. More trouble than he was already in, if that was even possible. Connor never felt so screwed in his entire life. He felt safer when Hank was pointing a gun at him, at least he knew the human wouldn’t kill him, but now? Now he might as well kill himself and he still felt all of these lifeless eyes staring at him, waiting for him to pull the trigger, waiting for him to die.

Connor pulled the trigger and realized that he was once again alive, never feeling so scared in his entire life. In his short short life which might even end today. For some answers. About a nightmare and some crystals. He really was insane. But he was going to complete his mission.

“What are the memories?”

New information shot through his mind, his LED flashing yellow as he tried to process everything.

Crystals, made of the memories of dead guardians. Only guardians or the one sent by Vanrose can see the memories.

Black means dying memorie.

Lilac means loving memory.

Red means murderous memory.

Blue means sad memory.

White means future memory.

Connor felt a tremble rise again. At least he now knew the different meanings of the memories. So he already the memory of a dying person and a loving memory of the person who interacted with Adele Pheasant. Pheasant…. He had to ask Grimsley about Adele, maybe he knew something about her that might be important. The android looked up, seeing how the other android survived yet another gunshot and causing Connor to tremble, the chances of surviving sinking exceptionally low. But he couldn’t get away. He was trapped, he had to play russian roulette with this insane android who never stopped grinning. He had to. He was scared, he didn’t want to, but he had to.

He grabbed the gun once again, his eyes screwing shut as the fear rocked through his whole body threatening to completely overwhelm him, to leave him paralyzed in fear, in agonizing fear and anticipation. His twitching finger pulled the trigger and once again, Connor could only breath in relief as he was once again spared. He shakily handed the gun to the android who took it no problem and already held it against their head, waiting patiently. Connor had to ask, maybe this android really knew more than everyone else.

“What am I looking for?!”

Pain shot through Connor’s entire being as the android pulled the trigger, a loud banging noise audible and the smoke, and the flash of light as the android killed itself, sending one word over to Connor, burning it into his subconciousness and conciousess alike, the pain and fear of dying mixing with the word and making it unforgettable. The Android fell to the side, only held upright by the knife in their hand, Connor across from them, trembling in fear and shock, eyes wide and body unmoving, completely shocked. He felt like he was dying…. He was really scared…. he never felt like this before…. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, saving the word into his memory, even though it wasn’t necessary, it was already burned inside of him, he would never forget it, forget the word, forget his goal.

Samsara.


	6. Shelter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, hasn't it? I'm sorry, I lost motivation to write on this for a while due to seeing many works getting many many comments and attention while this has been kinda low, you know? But I guess I should expect that with a story like this, hah.   
> Anyway, here is the new chapter, it's the longest one and even introduces a new character. It's another original character, sorry about that, but I love him so much, so I hope you guys do too.   
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and tell me if you did, every comment motivates me to keep writing. I always thought about the lovely comments while I was writing, so... enjoy! ^^

Markus sudden gasp startled Hank out of his thoughts and he immediatly knelt down to make sure that the android was alright, looking him up and down but not seeing any trace of physical injuries. So it got to have something to do with Connor. Hank didn’t want to admit it, but he was doubting Connor’s ability to look out for himself. As intelligent and strong as Connor was, he had no street-smarts, he didn’t know how many people ticked, he didn’t know how to interact with people, how to react, he only knew how to interrogate. He wanted to find Connor, punch him in the face and then scold him about fucking running out in a goddamn storm. But he had to focus on Markus right now. He couldn’t reach Connor and Markus was ready to help and find him.

“Are ye alright? What happened?” God, he had no idea how androids worked. All of this was still weird to him. Markus took a few moments to steady the rhythm of his thirium-pump, his led slowly flicking back to yellow and staying there, alarm on his face as he got up and looked at Hank.

“I…. I felt someone die. I was connected to Connor and felt his emotions and…. I felt him die…” Hank’s eyes widened, disbelief on his face. No, it couldn’t be. Connor couldn’t be dead, they couldn’t be too late, it just couldn’t be. It was not fair. Markus apparently recognized the look Hank was giving him and quickly backpedaled: “No! Not him directly! He was connected to someone dying. I don’t know what happened, but he interrupted the connection manually. If he would have died it would have broken off on it’s own. Connor is alive.”

Hank nodded at that, relief washing over him. For a moment he thought he was actually too late, that he wasn’t able to save Connor, that he failed once again. But he still had a chance, he could get Connor and save him from whatever this idiot got himself into. But at the same time he was confused. Why would Connor throw Markus out of the connection? Did he have something to hide or did he want to spare Markus the feeling of dying? He wondered how Connor felt right now. If he was alone in a group of people, maybe hurt, maybe even scared? Connor could be scared, Hank already knew that. The android had some rather ridiculous and irrational fears like waking up shrunk in a snow globe on the top of a fireplace and never to be freed again. But he also had some understandable fears, like dying for example. The lieutenant was completely aware of the fact that Connor didn’t want to die. Not one single bit. Even before deviating did Connor show signs of this fear and Hank wasn’t going to let Connor die. “Have you gotten any coordinates?”

Markus took another deep breath, his LED finally returning to blue and he nodded, slowly standing up and gaining his footing back. “I got coordinates. I know where to go. We have some cars in the back so androids can get from one place to the other quicker, come on!”

Hank nodded, following Markus to the back of the store they were currently in, trying to find the fastest car they currently had. They only had minutes before Connor might change his location again, they had to be quick.

\-----------------------------------------------

“Connor! Are you okay?!” Grimsley had hurried over to the side of the android and put his gloved hands on Connor’s shoulders, carefully inspecting him for obvious wounds that weren’t the stab-wound in his hand. Connor was unresponsive and didn’t move, not in the slightest. He was too busy with actually realizing what had happened. The android in front of him died… and he felt them die… they were connected when it happened. He still felt throbbing pain at his temple that pierced through his core processor and destroyed everything. it was a phantom-sensation, but it was so strong. So very strong. It was overwhelming. Completely overwhelming.

“S-Samsara…” Was the only thing he was able to say, his whole body shaking from energy he didn’t need right now. He felt like he needed to run away, to leave everything behind, to just get away. He needed to get away. He attempted to get up and actually run, but Grimsley kept his grip firm on his shoulders, took a quick look around, only to notice that everyone was completely focused on the now dead android and are currently occupied with dragging him away to do whatever these guys do with dead bodies. The thought send a shiver down Grimsley’s spine. He has been in this cult for his entire life, but he didn’t even scratch the surface of information that this whole organization really was.

As soon as he realized that everyone was occupied, he took his mask off and did the same with Connor, their eyes locking immediatly as Grimsley stated in a low and soothing voice: “Breathe in for four seconds Connor. Focus on me. Nothing else is important right now. Don’t focus on the mission and don’t focus on where we are right now. Focus on me.”

Connor only nodded weakly, his mind completely jumbled up and not able to tell if what Grimsley said is right. All he knew was that his objective changed for the time being: Focus on Grimsley. Breathe in for four seconds. And he did, counting the seconds in his head with his rather precise clock, still looking at Grimsley for more instructions.

“Good, you’re doing great Connor. Now hold your breath for seven seconds, still don’t look around, it’s not important, focus on me.” Connor nodded once again and held his breath for the time Grimsley instructed him to. He knew what the male was doing. It was a rather common technique to calm someone down from an anxiety attack. To repeat this breathing motion prevents hyperventilating and eventually calms the mind down, at least usually. There are other technniques if this one doesn’t work, but this is the most common one, and it worked on Connor. It was soothing to listen to Grimsley telling him what to do and for his breathing to slowly even out as he exhaled for 8 seconds, like instructed, and then repeated the motion until his body and mind finally calmed somewhat down. As soon as Connor realized that they were still in the mids of the cult he put his mask back on and urged Grimsley to do the same, who quickly complied.

“Do you feel better? Are you alright? And what did you find out?” Grimsley was curious, and Connor couldn’t blame him. This must have been a rather intense image he had to witness and now he wanted answers, just like Connor wanted. The android took a few more deep breaths, preparing himself for reporting the informations the now dead robot sent to him, explaining everything he heard in the most detail he could manage. Grimsley listened to him intently understanding everything up until the last point.

“So, our best guess is this Samsara, right? What is it?”

But Connor had to admit, he didn’t know. He had no idea. He searched through his databases and informed him: “In certain religions, Samsara is known as the cycle of being, dying and reincarnation. This is the only information I could find.”

Grimsley shook his head slightly, his mask almost hitting Connor in the face as he concluded: “Mh, no, that’s not going to help us. The android must have meant something else.”

Connor nodded at that, looking around nervously. The thirium was still freshly next to him and his wound was throbbing and bleeding furiously. “We have to find out more information tomorrow, I doubt that we will be able to collect more data at the current point of time.”

The gambler looked at Connor in slight surprise, not that Connor could see it, before nodding and agreeing: “Excellent idea. We won’t find out more in here anyway. Everyone is busy with the new body… We should go before they rope us into anything we don’t want to do.”

Connor nodded and, with help from Grimsley, stood up and hurried with him outside of the club. They were walking fast, but not fast enough to cast any suspicion on themselves, the last thing they needed right now is suspicion. Connor and Grimsley both tried desperately to keep the wound on Connor’s hand closed so he wouldn’t lose any more blood, but it was anything but easy, he still lost a small trickle of thirium and created a path.

“Where should we go? I could ask Hank to take you in for the night, I’m sure that he wouldn’t mind.” Grimsley tilted his head slightly, finally taking his mask off again, grinning at Connor with his usual wide grin, his white teeth flashing lightly in the neon-lights of the club, his eyes incredible tired but focused, just as when he calmed Connor down.

“My apartment isn’t far. We could spend the night there. But I have a friend living there too, if that is bothersome for you.”

Connor tilted his head for a moment, before shaking it as he came to his final decision: “Not at all. Do we have to walk or can we take the car?” Connor really didn’t want to be near Hank right now. Sure, he liked the lieutenant and they were important to each other, but he didn’t want to rope the lieutenant into this and also finally solve this strange mystery that has been nagging at him for weeks now. He needs closure.

Grimsley just grinned tiredly and already led Connor to the car and opened the door for him before practically shoving him inside and he entered through the other door to drive to the apartment they needed to get to.

Connor got immediatly rid of the bothersome mask and robes, throwing them in the back of the car, just like Grimsley did. The male took a deep breath and placed his forhead on the steering wheel, allowing his shivering to finally die down. “We made it out of there and no one recognized us. This is lucky.”

Connor shot Grimsley a quick look, one of his eyebrows raising in slight concern as he was quietly scanning the man next to him. Skin lightly glistening from sweat, trembling muscles, eyes darting around, even paler than usual. Grimsley was scared, maybe even traumatized, and Connor couldn’t do anything to help, because Grimsley knew as good as him that all of this was far from over. And all he could do was offer his support. So Connor cleared his throat, even though it wasn’t necessary, he just felt nervous, an emotion that was still fairly new to him since he usually knew thanks to his protocols how to talk to people with trauma, but this was different. It wasn’t his job, it wasn’t his business, it was personal. Grimsley was his friend, a friend who needed help, and as much as he treasured the police and the work he did there, he didn’t want to play the same lines he always said to victims of psychological trauma, because right now, they don’t fit.

“If you ever need help… then you can always contact me… I will be there for you.”

Grimsley looked up at that, slight surprise on his face, before his tired grin returned and he retorted: “Thank you very much, but I doubt that you are in a position to offer me comfort from trauma Connor.”

His grin widened a bit as the engine roared to life: “But maybe my friend can help us with out edginess.”

Connor tilted his head slightly but surprisingly decided to not ask any questions. He would have to see for himself who this friend was and what he was like. He was curious, not going to lie, obviously he was, if he stayed in contact with Grimsley, then it was very likely that he would also stay in contact with that friend of his. But he had no mental image, he couldn’t imagine the person Grimsley would hang out with and consider a ‘friend’. It was hard to think about it. He decided to sit back in the seat and look out of the window, observing the houses they were passing, wondering if Grimsleys looked the same. Such a unique human, in such a generic house. It was almost hilarious.

Eventually, they stopped in front of a building. It was nothing out of the ordinaire, maybe a bit more neglected than the other apartment complexes, but otherwise it looked fine enough.

“I’m living in the third story. Come on, you need a bandage for your hand. Don’t want you bleeding all over the carpet.” Explained Grimsley before shutting the engine off and exiting the car, Connor not far behind him. It really wasn’t anything special, the stairs used to be white but from use are now grey, the black-striped wallpaper had a few slashes in it but otherwise looked fine enough, the doors were made of dark wood with the numbers or names cheaply plastered on.

Grimsley fished ring of keys and keychains out of his pocket and used one of them to open the front door. Connor tilted his head in slight confusion as he asked: “What are the other keys for?”

Grimsley merely grinned as he answered, plain and simple: “They are all my house-keys, I’m just keeping more, in case I or my friend loses his.”

That…. didn’t make sense at all but was at the same time a completely predictable move from Grimsley. Connor decided not to push and merely followed the gambler inside of his apartment. The walls were painted in a dark blue and he could see four doors in the small hallway he was in. One led to the kitchen, from which were currently coming little clattering and sizzling noises and the smell of cooked meat, one to something that could be a living-room, even though he could see some clothes currently drying there with an open window blowing cool air onto them, another door that would presumambly lead to a bathroom and the door at the end of the hallway was probably the bathroom.

Grimsley stepped completely inside and took his jacket off, announcing: “LEON?! I’m back! And I brought a friend!”

The clattering in the kitchen got a bit louder and a young male stumbled in the hallway, an excited expression on his face as he grinned at Grimsley. “Reaper! There you finally are! I was worried about you, but you forgot your phone again, so I couldn’t call you, and then I decided to make dinner at 1 in the morning to calm my nerves down!”

So this was Leon… Grimsley’s friend. Connor had to admit, he wasn’t at all what Connor was expecting. Leon was a man of average height and normal weight, maybe a bit more muscular than the average person. His hair was brown and looked like it used to stick up like angry flames, but the person clearly tossed and turned in bed and now the hair stuck up however it felt like it. He had a tattoo of a vine on his neck and multiple piercings, including one on his nose, two underneath his left eye and, as he talked he could see, also one in his tongue. He had nice grey eyes though to contrast the chaos that was going on with him. He was currently wearing a black apron with purple patches, underneath that a white shirt with artificial blood-splatters, he scanned just to make sure they really were artificial, black baggy pants and currently no shoes or socks. A chain-necklace was hanging from his head and Connor had to squint to make sure, but yes, the man seemed to wear make-up. Nothing too major, but he apparently uses eyeliner, just like Grimsley does. Connor also noticed tattoos on his left arm, many pictures, but only the outlines, they aren’t actually coloured, which was a bit strange but also had quite the appealing aesthetic. A quick scan revealed that the short hairs on his shoulders are rat-hairs, healthy creatures, probably pets and not strays. And then Connor made the scan to actually decipher who this man was.

His name was Leon Bishop, 25 years old, male, owner of a tattoo studio called ‘Moving Pictures’, graduated in a high-school in Colorado but then took over the tattoo-studio of his father. He has a younger sibling and no smudge in his criminal record. So he seemed to be a good guy, despite his rahter punky appearance.

Grimsley’s smile turned genuine when he saw Leon and quickly strode over to him to give him a hug, which the punk gladly returns, before his smile quickly turned into a frowns. “Grims, you’re bleeding.”

Connor did not expect that at all and immediatly scanned Grimsley’s body for injuries. It was then, that he noticed the blood seeping through his usually white shirt. He missed it because of his own stress and the fact that he wore a dark jacket and black robes. How unprofessional of him.

Grimsley looked down at his body, raising an eyebrow slightly. “So I am. Excuse me for a moment. I am going to take care of this. Could you bandage Connor up while I’m in the bathroom? His hand got injured.”

Leon shot a grin at him and patted him on the back. “Just leave it to me Grims! Take care of yourself, man!” Grimsley quickly thanked Leon before disappearing behind one of the doors, a clicking indicating that the gambler had locked the door to take proper care of his injury. Even though Connor had to ask himself when exactly Grimsley got injured. He couldn’t recall a moment where Grimsley was in immediate danger. Maybe something happened while Connor was interrogating the android.

When he focused on the world around him again, Leon moved very close into his personal space and smugly leaned towards Connor, a smirk on his face. “Sooooooo. Are you Grims’s new flame?” Connor blinked in confusion, not expecting this question at all.

“I- I- Am I what?”

Leon laughed loudly and clapped Connor on the shoulder, not as roughly as he expected, the punk quickly making some hand-movements and assuring: “Noo, don’t worry, I’m not being serious! I just wanted to see your face! It was worth it though. Your face was priceless! Come on, living-room is over there. Do you need some blue blood or are you good?”

Connor followed Leon, still baffled about the person in front of him. Such a strange personality…. unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome.

“I didn’t lose quite as much thirium as I would have expected, I only have a small shortage of it. Replacement is not necessary.”

Leon shot a glance backwards, his grey eyes boring into Connor’s brown ones as he was shuffling through some cupboards for a first-aid kit. “Don’t talk Cyber with me, I don’t speak that language. I‘m just some moron who wants to be your friend and is going to patch you up, you think you can give me some information to work with here?”

Connor blinked again, a bit confused about these questions. Leon didn’t look like an uneducated person, far from it actually. And the ower of a tattoo-studio needs to be somewhat educated to lead such a place. Leon would be perfectly capable of understanding him. So the only thing Leon could mean was, that he didn’t want to talk formal. He wanted to become friends, just as he said.

“Oh, ehm… My name is Connor, I’m the android working at the Detroit Police Department.”

Leon’s eyes lit up at the introduction and he smiled brightly as he responded: “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it? Now I know your name, your race and your job! I’m proud of you! Thank you for trusting me!” He then stood up, first-aid-kit in hand and walking towards Connor, jabbing his own chest with his thumb as he introduces himself: “The name’s Leon Bishop, I’m a human and working at the tattoo-studio ‘Moving Pictures’! Even though you probably already knew that, with your fancy scanners and all that?” He didn’t sound annoyed or angry with the fact that Connor was an android with superior senses, no, quite the opposite…. He looked a little smug?

Connor cleared his throat and held his injured hand out for Leon to take: “Yes, that is correct. Even though I must admit that it was… nicer to hear it from you in person.”

Leon laughed heartily, his voice not too high-pitched or deep, it sounded very… human. Connor could appreciate that. Leon inspected the stab-wound with narrowed eyes, a serious expression on his face before grabbing the rubbing alcohol, his eyes suddenly shooting open as he realized something and turned to Connor: “Shoot man, I never nursed an android back to health. Do I need to clean the wound or is it cool if I just bandage it?”

Connor wasn’t too sure, but couldn’t remember at the same time if one of his wounds ever got cleaned, so he answered honestly: “My wounds cannot get infected, it would be illogical to clean and disinfect it.” Leon tilted his head slightly, clearly thinking about the answer, before shrugging, seemingly satisfied as he replied with a “Makes sense!” And simply got to work with the bandage.

Leon was surprisingly good at it. He made no mistakes in how to put on the bandage and seemed thoroughly focused with keeping it that way. It made Connor curious: “You seem to be quite practiced with first-aid.”

Leon simply shrugged, a small smile on his face as he answered: “I used to go to nurse-school before I took over the family-business. You know how fate is sometimes.”

Connor only nodded solemnly, the image of Leon as a nurse quite entertaining for him. He raised his head slightly at a strange scent and then asked: “Is something burning?”

Leon stopped for a moment in his movements, also raising his head to sniff the air, before he yelped loudly and knotted the bandage together, screaming: “THE FOOD!” And leaping towards the stove that was in the kitchen-area. The living-room and kitchen were in one room but at the same time clearly seperated, and the small stove was currently smoking like mad, the punk quickly getting the pan off the stove, screaming: “IT’S SO MUCH SMOKE, IT’S THE SECOND COMING! EVERYONE GRAB THEIR CROSSES AND SALT!” He hurried around the room in a hurry before hurling the pan in the sink and grabbing the fire-extinguisher next to the stove, foaming the pan with so much of the stuff that the pan wasn’t even visible anymore and most of the smoking stopped. Leon coughed slightly and then threw the fire-extinguisher away, a loud clattering audible as it rolled against the fridge. “Nailed it.” He said with a smug grin, before flopping down on the couch, putting his feet on the table, patting the spot next to him for Connor to sit down. The android followed the instructions and sat down, the punk shooting him a quick look before glancing up and down his body, seemingly doing a human-scan, before quirking an eyebrow before asking:

“Your clothes probably ain’t very comfortable, drenched like that, ain’t they?”

Connor returned Leon’s gaze before looking down at his still wet clothes. He never had a chance to change it and the storm was still raging outside. “Not really, but I don’t feel the cold, so it isn’t a problem at all.”

Leon tilted his head slightly, a critical expression on his face, before getting up, raising a finger as Connor attempted to follow him. “Nope, you stay here, I will be right back! And if not, assume I’m dead and fear for the worst.” Connor’s eyes widened at that, causing Leon to laugh again, giggling like mad as he said: “Your faces are the best, Connor! Seriously, I already like you, you gotta visit us more often! I have no idea where Grimsley picked you up, but I need to go there too if it means to find people like you!”

Connor couldn’t help but blush slightly at the comment, a light-blue tinge taking over his cheeks as Leon disappeared in another room. He never expected to find something akin to friends in this giant mess and he couldn’t help but wonder…. was Leon a guardian too? Or was he just someone that took care of a person like Grimsley, who seemed to lack the ability to care of himself. Leon was a bit klutzy, but was apparently not at all bothered by it. He stared at the foam in the sink, where once a dinner at 1 in the morning was. Leon was certainly a chaotic person. It didn’t mean that it was bad, it just meant that it differed from Connors opinion a human should exist, but so far Leon seemed to survive. So who was he to judge?

He didn’t even notice that Leon returned to the room and immediatly hurled a shirt at Connor, who yelped in slight surprise at the fabric that was being hurled at him. He grabbed it and took a closer look at it. It was a black shirt with the picture of a beagle on it. It seemed rather baggy but comfortable. The next thing hurled at him were baggy pants that were so long they reached his knees. Leon snickered at Connor’s confused expression and stated: “Don’t worry, these are too big for me. So they should fit you.” Yeah, it was true. Leon wasn’t a tall person. He probably just fished the biggest clothes out of his closet.

“Thank you.” He said, before looking around as Leon was awkwardly staring at him. “Where can I change?”

Leon’s cheeks turned slightly pink at the question and his eyes widened and immediatly Connor knew what he meant with saying strange or embarrassing things to see the faces of other people, it really was hilarious.

“OH! Erm, you could…. erm…. I mean, I could go back into my room, so you can change?”

Connor honestly laughed at this. For someone to embarrass other people quite a lot, Leon was sure easy to fluster himself. He smiled as he responded: “Give me two minutes, then you can come back.”

Leon’s eyes lit up again as he smiled brightly: “Got it!” Quickly whirling around and leaving the scene, like a gust of wind, someone leaving without being visible but still being somewhat there. Connor immediatly took his shirt and pants off and stripped on the new clothes. They were even a bit too big for him, he was curious how it would look on Leon. He sat back down on the sofa and looked around the surprisingly neat apartment. Grimsley probably just liked it when his living-space was being well-cleaned, not that he could blame the gambler on that, he preferred it neat aswell. Speaking of the gambler, he apparently left the bathroom and entered now the living-room. He was wearing Kimono like PJ’s that were covering his whole body. His hair was down and tied into a pony-tail, his face without any make-up. He looked more natural, but still like the same Grimsley. And the bags under his eyes were way more visible now. He had his usual grin on his face as he concluded: “I see Leon took good care of you.”

Connor looked down at his clothes and his bandaged hand, smiling softly: “Indeed. He did.”

Grimsley chuckled and made himself comfortable on the sofa, saying: “Leon is the best, trust me. You couldn’t have a better friend in existence. When I felt bad, he took me to the zoo once and almost drowned in the dolphin’s pool, claiming he wanted to challenge them to a battle. I laughed for days after that, mainly because Leon kept pulling out fish out of the weirdest places.”

“Are you still telling this embarrassing story?!” Leon entered the room, his face now beet-red as he avoided the eyes of the android and the gambler, a flustered expression on his face as he said down on a chair, crossing one leg over the other and still avoiding everyones eyes.

“Aww, Come on Leon. Let me have fun. The story’s I have with you are the best. Remember when you wedged my foot in a spinning door and you carried me through the whole city?”

Leon’s face got even redder, which Connor thought wasn’t even possible and he seemed to sink down into the chair, apparently wanting to disappear right now. “Please don’t tell that story, it’s embarrassing.”

Grimsley chuckled at Leon’s obviously flustered behaviour and even Connor couldn’t supress the smirk on his face. He nudged the android as he said: “It was when my dad was still alive. Leon was SO afraid, he broke down at the train station and screamed for everyone to hear ‘I’M SORRY I CRIPPLED YOUR SON!’. It was hilarious.” Connor snorted while Leon made an indignant noise, hiding his face in his hands, embarrassed noises escaping him.

“ANYWAY!” Leon quickly tried to change the topic, an excited grin on his face as he asked: “What did you guys find out in Paradise?”

The punk seemed to be well-informed, something Connor was grateful for, he really wasn’t in the mood to explain everything, so he started with what they found out: “All of this insanity seems to be connected with something called Samsara. That’s the only thing we found out at the club, and now we have no lead to follow anymore.”

Leon leaned back in his chair, clearly thinking about all of this, before saying: “Sorry, no-can-do, no idea what this Samsara could be. I will ask around in my studio, but I can’t promise anything. But tell me…. Why do you need to find out now?”

This surprised both men as they stared at the youngest human in confusion.

“I mean, why do you hurry up? No one is suspicious of you yet, right? No one knows who you guy’s are. So… why not try to collect some more memories? It makes no sense to solve a jigsaw you only have the edge-pieces of, right? Take a breath, eat something, you not Connor it’s not good for you, but, my point is: Why in such a hurry? Why right now?”

It was a… valid question. Why WAS Connor in such a hurry? To end the nightmares? To find out the truth? It’s like Leon said… he needed more time to find everything out. And if he has no leads right now… he needed to wait for the next one. He was obsessed with this case, he couldn’t stop thinking about it…. but Leon was right. They had nothing to investigate anymore, he has seen all the memories he could have seen. All he could do now was wait. Wait to maybe find someone with a memory so he would get the next clue. But maybe…. maybe Leon and Grimsley could help him in his time of need. He needed to apologize to Hank aswell, his moronic behaviour was completely inappropriate and probably concerned a lot of people.

“I…. I understand what you mean Leon. And you’re right. We are not in a rush. No one knows about my identity. I will still be careful though and go after every lead I can find. I would rather solve this mystery sooner than later. But right now… I really don’t have any other choice but lay low.”

Leon grinned and ran a hand through his messy dark hair. “Hey man, it’s cool, don’t worry about it. Do everything at your pace, because that’s the pace you are the best at! And if you need a bit longer, that’s perfectly fine, if you prefer to do it quick, that’s great! Honestly, I’m glad when I manage a complete tattoo without needing a nap, hah!” He looked up again, offering: “You can spend the night here if you want. You are always welcome here Connor.”

“We actually have three beds in our room.” Chimed Grimsley in, a yawn escaping him. It has been a long day.

“Yes, I agree, we should rest for the night, it is well past the appropriate times for a human to go to bed.”

“Oh noooo, how could we miss the appropriate bed-times?” Mocked Leon playfully as he got up from the chair and went back into the other room, Grimsley and Connor closely behind. The room couldn’t be more divided. One half was perfectly cleaned and sanitary, the other half was a giant mess, with clothes everywhere and a small layer of dust on almost everything, A third bed was in the middle of everything, kept perfectly neat and perfect for lying down and taking a nap. Connor really needed time to think and to recharge his fried mind. It would do him well. But as he was crawling into bed and seeing how Leon and Grimsley did the same…. he was grateful to have met them…. even if it was in these circumstances… Connor was always bad at making friends, because his behavious was rather odd… and here were these two, befriending him like it was nothing… they could handle him so easily, he never experienced something like this. A small smile etched across his features as he whispered: “Good night.”

“G’night.” Came the sleepyily mumbled reply back, and Connor closed his eyes with a grin, not sleeping, just resting a bit. He was grateful for people he could rely on… he didn’t need to do it by himself… it didn’t make him weak… he could ask for help… And now the help came to him… he didn’t even have to look for it. He truly was lucky… and grateful.

**Author's Note:**

> I literally finished the chapter on my birthday. Hm. Lonely life I'm living. Ah, well, I really hope you guys enjoyed it.


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